A Hipster Being Searched by a TSA Agent

(WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE CONSIDERED RACIALLY INSENSITIVE AND POLITICALLY INCORRECT, BUT THAT’S WHAT I DO BEST.  And by the way, if you’ve ever been to the Atlanta airport, this could be very close to the truth.)

Here’s what happens when a hipster has a layover in the Atlanta Hartsfield International airport on his way to the Wakarusa Music Festival in Ozark, Arizona for some ironic concert fun.

Characters: Jude the Hipster and Lakeesha the TSA Agent

Lakeesha- (appearing disinterested and extremely bothered to actually be at work) Excuuuuuse me Mr. Hairy face with the stupid-ass hat on, step over hear please.  You have been selected for a random search.  My name is Lakeesha and I am a special search agent for the Transportation Security Administration.

Jude- (speaking like he’s ingested a handful of shrooms)  Whoa, I heard about this when I was drinking green tea the other day.  Very trippy, please be gentle, it took me forever to get my hat to sit just right on my head.

Lakeesha- (already getting angry) Green tea????  What in the hell is green tea?

You dumb-ass white folks always trying to drink shit that you think make you healthy.  (laughing) Green tea, HA.  How about some Welch’s Grape, cracker?  That’ll put some hair on yo chest.

How about you take that gay-ass hat off so I can make sure you ain’t got no bombs hidden in your wannabe Bob Marley hair. Continue reading

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