Rednecks Don’t Need Spell Check

(I’m not sure why, but this post gets the most views of anything I’ve written.  Apparently, rednecks are polarizing.)

“No one has anythang agenst rednecks” Chris from Independence High

 

(I used to run a website where I made fun of people who posted stupid shit on Facebook.  This was one of my posts about rednecks.)

One group of people who always help me feel intelligent is “Rednecks.”

I absolutely love the fact that they jack off on their bibles, wear camouflage, hate all non-white people, hate northerners for no reason, use the word nigger, hate gay people, fuck their sisters/cousins/aunts/uncles, go mudding, hunt anything with a pulse and bitch and complain all the time about Hispanics taking their jobs.

Rednecks are the best.  Society always needs a continuous stream of racist, sister fuckers with non-chlorinated gene pools to keep the white race alive.  Sometimes, I am so proud to be white (sarcasm).

Please do not get confused between “Rednecks” and “Country People”.   There are actually many good country folk out there and those are not the people I am speaking about here.

But, for the love of God, Allah, Buddha and Krishna, WHY CAN’T REDNECKS USE SPELL CHECK???  I just do not get it.  The following posts are from Redneck Groups on Facebook.  Just read and enjoy.   And remember, this is real; I could not make this shit up. Continue reading

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A Redneck Conversation

(I’m reposting this because rednecks crack me up)

Billy Bob: Hey Skeeter

Skeeter:  Whut??

Billy Bob: We gonna get some fried wolf knuckles for lunch?

Skeeter: Nah, how bouts some fried mayonnaise balls, dipped in some Ranch

Billy Bob:  Hells yeah

Skeeter: Fried mayo balls reminds me of that time I gave my love muscle to that girl with the fine turd cutter.

Billy Bob: You mean that chick down by the lake last summer??

Skeeter: No dumbass, that girl we met at the swap meet down by the dollar store, ‘member I traded her my Dale Jr. jacket for some shotgun shells??

Billy Bob: Oh yeah, I think so

Skeeter: Then we went out back behind the port-o-let and I fucked her mouth real hard.  ‘Member, you were taking pictures and tossing the mayo balls into my mouth while I partied all on her gums?

Billy Bob:  Oh shit!  I ‘member that, you were rocking her teeth like ACDC.  Wasn’t her name Claire?

Skeeter: Yep, Claire.  She had the softest cock gums and her ass was fine like a Dusty Rhodes elbow.

Billy Bob:  But isn’t Claire your sister??

Skeeter:  Shut the fuck up.