Hey Ryan O’Neal….(not for those with sympathetic hearts)

(This is a fairly violent, angry and mean post, but I’m tired of Hollywood and I’m tired of how millions of people eat this shit up.  China is pulling ahead even further.  I wish someone would just tell the truth about life once in a while and not produce shit that panders to target markets.)

“America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success.” Sigmund Freud

Hey Ryan, why in the hell are you doing the celebrity book/media/publicity tour?  You do realize that nobody gives a shit about you, don’t you?

Stupid, stupid me.  I always forget that the Hollywood Ego is the strongest power ever to grace the universe.

Obviously your Ego is so fucking huge that you think it’s alright to do interviews to talk about your dead wife, your fucked up family and your declining prostate.

By the way, when men get old their prostates generally have issues.  As a matter of fact, millions of men in the world have prostate issues, but you don’t see them clamoring for the spotlight to talk about it.

Excuse me, why again were you ever famous????  Oh, that’s right, you shacked up with Farrah Fawcett and her most notable role was as a “private detective” on Charlie’s Angels.

What’s that you say?  No, Ryan, nobody remembers, nor cares that you were in Peyton Place or Barry Lyndon.   Unless you are a Kardashian and bleach your asshole, no one really gives a shit about you.  Continue reading

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Brilliance in Journalism

I was working in Miami the other day and while getting dressed in my hotel, I turned on the Today Show.

I know, I should have spanked myself heartily and immediately gone to the library, but I truly wanted to see a train wreck and some blood and guts.

Thankfully, the Today Show delivered with its normal lack of journalistic integrity.  The lead stories were about a 39 pound cat and Rosie O’Donnell.

Notice, I didn’t say that Rosie tried to eat the cat, (how punnirific, and yes I just coined that word) just that they were both lead stories.

So the obese cat segment was truly riveting.  Today Show anchor Ann Curry, asked the woman holding the cat a very pointed question: I’m paraphrasing here, “So how in the world does a cat get that big.”

Wow, heads up Pulitzer Prize committee, I think we have a finalist.  The woman answered that the cat was fed too much and fed unhealthy food.

Hey America, don’t be shocked when China and their Rickshaw Express takes over.  While Americans are morbidly fascinated with an obese cat, the Chinese would deep-fry the same cat and feed half their population.

HOLY, FUCKING, SHIT.

Sadly, I pictured the cat as an accurate symbol of the average American and Ann Curry as just another grossly overpaid media figure who placates her bosses so that she can drive multiple Mercedes.

That’s all for now.

DUH’America: China Won Yesterday

Uh, hello America, did you see what happened yesterday?  Although it wasn’t widely reported, China officially won yesterday.  That’s right, it’s all over.  I witnessed the event firsthand on the Today Show.

Before you scold me, I sometimes enjoy the mindless drivel presented on the Today Show.  I feel it helps me stay in touch with the vacant minds floating throughout the country.

I sometimes become erect when the “used to be fat black dude” talks about the weather, his delivery in front of the green screen is intoxicating.

Anyway, before I get lost in the subtleties of American journalism, let’s get back to China winning.

Kim Kardashian was the featured guest for the Today Show yesterday and boy she didn’t disappoint.  While walking around the square outside the show, I watched as young girls (with their mothers) fawned over her and begged Kim to take a picture with them. Continue reading