religion & Bradentucky Man

Bradentucky Man and religion, it’s a hoot

BRADENTUCKY MAN

houseBradentucky Man don’t dig on religion……. don’t dig on religion of any kind.  I’m a reasonable man and god/gods just lacks reason.

The damn universe is so big we don’t even know how big it really is.  At least that’s what the scientists say.  And them scientists are way smarter than me.

But I’ve read that some people don’t really believe in science.  That freakin’ baffles me.

Generally, I’m Republican all the way, but I have to separate from my man Trump and Pence when it comes to God.  There ain’t no God, give me a break.

If there was a God, then why did he let all them Catholic priests molest little boys????  Exactly, makes no sense.  How about all them little kids dying from cancer????  Exactly, makes no sense.

Damn, if there is a God, he’s a real Son of a Bitch.

Sure I can’t prove God ain’t…

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life quotes from Bradentucky Man

Life quotes from a true man

BRADENTUCKY MAN

arkYou’ve probably seen some of these on social media or in many of the several reputable media outlets.

Bradentucky Man prides himself on his self-proclaimed “brilliant” insights about life.

But in case you missed them,  here are some of Bradentucky Man’s best quotes:

On politicians: “You can spray a pile of shit with Fabreeze, but it’s still a pile of shit. When you get close to it, you are still going to want to puke.”

On religion: “Ain’t no way in hell that Noah built a damn ark without gettin’ ate up by a tiger or bitten by a damn cobra.  Come on people.  Stop praying and get a job.”

On immigration: “Let em’ all in, I got my guns bitches.  Bring it on.”

On racism: “Look, stop all the bull shit.  There is white-trash, black-trash, mexican-trash and asian-trash.  Trash don’t care about color.”

On life: “Eat. sleep, get drunk…

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Trump’s new Pledge of Allegiance

“I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the disjointed States of Tump’Merica.  And to the Republic, for which it stands, One Nation, under Russia, with liberty for the privileged and justice for those with white skin.”

pencetrumpOur Dear Leader has proposed the above changes to the Pledge of Allegiance.  The Republican Congress should have no problem passing it.

Sadly though, it was reported that Mike Pence was furious because he wanted to have the word “God” added 150 times regardless of making any sense. (this is not actual news, this is hyperbole, comedy, etc.)

As ridiculous as this sounds, I wouldn’t surprised if some version of this happened one day.  Because this is the current state of Duh’Merica.

We are spinning wildly in a society without logic, without reason and without intelligent thought.  Anger and emotions have taken center stage.  Logic is just an afterthought.

We are Duh’Merica and we deserve this.

(By the way, I am a white man, I’ve never supported Hillary and I’m no bleeding heart.)

 

 

a question for “christians”

(Disclaimer: I think all politicians are self-serving, pieces of shit)

angry_trump_0Of all the incredible events from the election and our revelations from our now President Trump, one thing has truly baffled me:

How in the hell can Christians, from evangelicals to the mild believer, have voted for Trump?  How in the context of the Bible was that even possible?

I feel like Trump embodies several characteristics that most churches throughout our country view as abhorrent and very non-Christ like.  There are numerous biblical verses that provide examples of this, below are a few of my favorites:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” James 3:16

“He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom.” Proverbs 18:1

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

Again, I ask all Christians….. How could you have voted for Trump?  How?  How?  I honestly want to know.  I want to hear how you justify it.

As I’m left to form my own opinions about this, I have to speculate.   It appears to me that your hatred of the other candidates, which is highly un-biblical, led you to “settle” for Trump.

Or was is because Trump picked an evangelical VP in Mike Pence???  Do you really think Pence will be able to calm Trump down?  Seriously???

I am honestly asking for Christians to comment on this post and help me understand this.  Please comment.  I promise I will only engage in intelligent discourse.  I’m not writing this post to fight, I truly want to understand.

Cheers

 

 

what DUH’Merica deserves (no surprises)

(I wrote this during the primary, I feel like it’s spot on and relevant)

Hey Duh’Merica, stop all your damn whining about the Republican candidates.  Just…..fucking…..stop.  This is exactly what you deserve.

TEd-Cruz-ClownThe debates are an absolute circus, the size of which even P.T. Barnum couldn’t ever have imagined.  And the candidates are the clowns that even Bozo would have been proud of.

How can you (Duh’Merica) vote for any of these Bozo’s??

Cruz– he comes off as such a sanctimonious asshole.  He wants more God, doesn’t believe in evolution and thinks gay people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because of Leviticus.donald-trump-caricature

Rubio– never trust anyone from Miami, EVER.  Just like Cruz, he panders to the religious because they are the easiest demographic to fool.

Trump– just an arrogant opportunist who gives bigots a reason to believe their idiocy is acceptable.

Hey Duh’Merica, you get exactly what you deserve.  It’s your fault that the Republican candidates are the white trash version of Cirque du Soleil.

This is what happens when you make millionaires of Kardashians, can’t put down your cellphones and have the attention spans of a 2 year-old.  Maybe do some research and check a fact once in a while.

Stop your fucking whining….. this is exactly what you wanted.  You just haven’t realized it yet.

 

Ready for the Asteroid (a poem)

(I wrote this a long time ago.  But, when I see Trump, Cruz, Rubio, Hillary and Bernie spinning their shit, I wish the asteroid would come NOW)

When the horrible day arrives

the clouds will blacken and melt

a searing, tumbling ball of rock

will head our way

We will finally all understand our smallness

I will crawl into my roach skin costume

and hide between the walls

Because roaches, I’m told, will survive

F. U. Tim Tebow

tebowSo Timmy Tebow, aka “Baby Jesus,” is going to become a Major League baseball player.  Holy fuck the arrogance and misguided confidence of this kid.

It just never stops.  But then again, when you have the Almighty Lord on your side you can do anything right???

Uh………………..no you can’t.

ESPN Steven A. Smith take about this lunacy

I don’t pray, but if I did, I would be praying for Tim Tebow to go the fuck away.  Ok, he was an absolute success in college football and was one of the best college football players that ever played.

But that did not translate into him becoming a good NFL quarterback.  As a matter of fact, he was a terrible NFL QB and the numbers don’t lie.  That is the sole reason why he is not in the NFL.

Hey white evangelicals, shut the fuck up, it has nothing to do with Tebow being an annoying visible Christian.  It’s because he sucked as a NFL quarterback.

Fast forward a few years after no NFL teams wanted him…………….

Timmy- “Dear Lord Almighty.  I just don’t understand why no NFL teams want me anymore.  I’m a winner.  I’m pray harder than anyone.  I think all gay people should burn in eternal hell.  I mean, what gives here man.”

God“Well Timmy my son, the NFL is full of heathens destined for the pits of hell.  But now the other day, I was listening to some prayers for the New York Yankees management.  They prayed to me that if I was able to get A-Rod to retire, they would give you a tryout.  Yes my son, you should become a MLB player.  Show all your doubters the true light my son.”

Thanks a lot Duh’Merica for creating this monster.  Thanks a lot for enabling millions of pasty, white Fox News honks another reason to jerk off when they see Timmy in the news again.

This has just become one gigantic, Caucasian circle jerk.  And the collective jizz is splattering the foreheads of all the innocent people who are capable of a rational thought process.  The same people who realize this is total Bull Shit.

 

 

 

Tebow a Major League Baseball Player?????