Duh’Merica (the creepy uncle)

Duh’Merica, You have disturbed my pleasant dreams and filled my head with Kardashians, Honey Boo-Boos and extra large french-fry commercials

Duh’Merica, You continue to produce generations of young fools who would rather take pictures of their cocks and tits then read a book about the history they are about to repeat

Duh’Merica, You continue to bomb dark-skinned people far from your shores in the hopes of distracting your masses from what is real……………and the distraction continues to succeed

Duh’Merica, You pound your chest under the false guise of patriotism while removing all hope of an intelligent, rational discussion regarding anything of social importance

Duh’Merica, Your masses continue to believe in a magician in the clouds while always discounting your opposable thumbs

Duh’Merica, You never fail to grip me with the tight fingers of the old, creepy uncle, sitting in the corner at the family reunion making everyone uncomfortable……… and always doing it with a smile.

 

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Dear Pussies

I’m tired of the whining, I’m tired of the bitching and complaining.  America has turned into a nation of big, giant, dripping wet pussies.

(I mean no disrespect to women or their vaginas with this post.  I quite like vaginas; it just so happens that the word “pussy” is used universally to describe people as wimps.  I didn’t create that.)

On Patriotism: Stop moaning every time I say I’m against war, that doesn’t mean I’m unpatriotic, it just means I have a differing opinion than those who enjoy bombing the hell out of dark-skinned people half way across the world.

Hey, they killed about 3,000 of us at the Twin Towers; I think we are more than even now.

How much longer do we need to prove our dick-size?

And don’t patronize me with your American Flag displays.  Nothing screams “Patriot” more than your old ass truck with a confederate flag waving from the tailgate.  AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

On American Idol Contestants: Hey parents, if your kid sings like a wounded dog, please have the courage to tell them that they suck.

When you hide the truth from your kids in an effort not to hurt their feelings, you are only setting them up for embarrassment and failure.

It’s better for you, their parents, to tell them that they suck instead of encouraging them to display their ill-fated vocals in front of a panel of judges and millions of Americans on television.

“But mommy and daddy, you said I was the best singer in the county.  Why did everyone laugh at me?”  See, just tell them they suck and none of that will happen.  Continue reading

The Happy, Feel-Good Post

Throughout my blogging life, I have been accused on multiple occasions of being negative and hateful.  I prefer to think of myself as “realistic” and many of the realities I write about are negative.

Sure, I choose to focus on things that aren’t always pleasant, but that’s real fucking life to me.  I think a major problem plaguing our society is people’s inability to see what is actually real.

I think too many people turn their cheeks on the uncomfortable aspects of life in order to pursue an unrealistic Lifetime Movie life.

Anyway, I digress.

Here are some things make me happy: