(This is inspired by living in Florida almost my whole life and dealing with annoying old people)
HEY OLD MAN……..Please for the love of Krishna, stay in bed long enough for me to get to work before you hit the streets in your 35 foot Cadillac and swerve your way to IHOP. YOU ARE RETIRED and IHOP is open 24 hours a day. That means you don’t need to drive the streets while the rest of the coherent drivers under the age of 80 are trying to bring home some bacon.
HEY OLD MAN……..Please don’t think that it’s normal for you to continually fart as you walk through the Wal-Mart aisles looking for Sensodyne. Just because you can’t hear anything doesn’t mean that the rest of us aren’t inhaling the fumes of the dead cat that crawled up your ass while you were pulling weeds in your garden. Continue reading