Pretty Stupid Girls (by Misti Rainwater-Lites)

Misti-rainwater-lites-180(I’m a big fan of writer Misti Rainwater-Lites.  For me, this poem sums up Duh’Merica perfectly.)

This poem is timeless and one that can be read 100 years from now and still be applicable to American Society.

This poem is absolutely, fucking perfect.

I found this on: Poem of the Week September 19th 2005

Pretty Stupid Girls by Misti Rainwater-Lites

pretty stupid girls
chewing Dentyne Ice
and chatting on their cell phones
as Vietnamese ladies
polish their toenails
pretty stupid girls
showing off cleavage and fake tans
in bra tops from Victoria’s Secret
gossiping about Kevin and Britney
wanting to be Paris and Nicole
pretty stupid girls
getting sloshed in clubs
that blast stupid songs
going home with
pretty stupid boys
proving to the world
that Americans
pretty much
suck

 

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Did Tony Fuck Angela?

(A while ago I had a gmail blogger account and posted this.  One of my favorite poets,Misti Rainwater-Lites posted a nice comment about it.  Sure it could have been a Misti imposter, but I like to tell myself it was really her.)

I keep asking myself the question………… Did Tony ever fuck Angela? I want to know, I want to know badly. If he did, I think it would have gone  something like this:

Tony approached her right after he finished vacuuming the drapes. She had probably just returned home from a hard day of work at her advertising agency. She was standing by the door teasing her Grayish-streaked hair, almost inviting him to taste her middle-aged grapes.

“Hey Angela, you are looking pretty hot standing there by the door. Why don’t you come a little closer so I can fuck you up the ass,” Tony would quip.

“Oh Tony, you are so boorish, so Italian, so ruggedly…………….. what time is dinner,” Angela would blush and retreat to the kitchen.

Then Mona would enter the room, arm entwined with a an old drunk who resembled Bukowski. Tony and Angela could both smell the sex on her breath as she paraded around the room with the misguided confidence only shared by Blanche from the Golden Girls. Continue reading

The Ultimate Hipster Date; Sebastian & Clementine

This post was inspired by mrmarymuthafuckingpoppins and Howtodateboys date story.  They made a reference about “scenesters” and it got me thinking. Hipsters, (scenester cousins), trip me out and I think the ultimate hipster date would go something like this:

Man- Sebastian, Nickname “Basty”

Woman- Sara, Nickname Clementine

The First Meeting:

It was a normal day for both Basty and Clementine and neither of them had a clue that they would meet each other in such “ironic” fashion.

By the way, this story could take place in any urban city where a formerly “bad” neighborhood is currently being transformed into the trendy place to live.

You know what I mean; hot dog vendors have been replaced by rolling craft beer stands, etc. Continue reading