Duh’Merica (a poem)

DUH’merica, what have you done?

While you parade the streets in gas guzzling suburbans, there are soldiers dying around the world trying to kill dark-skinned people after taking orders from fat, pasty-white politicians who only care about their offshore bank accounts.

DUH’merica, why don’t you care?

That our children have difficulty finding China on a map, but they can update their Facebook status perfectly while crossing a busy city street without getting splattered in traffic.

DUH’merica, why can’t you turn it off?

The Kardashians, TMZ, The Bachelor, American Idol, America’s Got Talent sift through the minds of our youth like a slow, neurotoxin eating them from the inside out. Continue reading

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The Case FOR Premarital Sex (NSFW)

Sluts, whores and hussies are wonderful for so many reasons whether you like them or not.  Sex is not a bad thing, never has been.

In fact, sex is why we are here today and why we will be here tomorrow.

Why then are so many people concerned with telling others not to have sex?  The notion of not having premarital sex is completely insane to me.

Here’s a scenario for you:

Two young high school sweethearts have been going steady since their sophomore year.  They both made the promise to wait until marriage to have sex, signed the prom letter, wore the promise rings and all that good shit.  They fulfill the promise and finally get married.

On the honeymoon, he carries her over the threshold of the suite and goes straight for the bed.  After several seconds of passionate kissing, the moment is close. Continue reading

When I Become President

(I wrote this a while ago and it’s still relevant)

I surely can’t be the only person who feels that America is 100% lost right now and things are not getting better any time soon. American society has become desensitized to a buffet of crap culture that continues to eat us from the inside out.

For example; we have the Kardashians running around pretty much everywhere, making more money than doctors, scientists and teachers. (I can’t help but think that Bruce Jenner is hiding in the closet videotaping his step-daughters while they change, YouTube gold.)

Every time a celebrity passes gas, we have TMZ there with cameras blazing, ready to document the fart assent into the smog-filled Los Angeles air.

We have politicians fighting on how to solve our debt problem. My mistake, I thought China already owned the United States. I must have missed something.

We have Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj fighting daily over who looks more like a Muppet gone bad project. Continue reading