A while ago I was at a hotel in Jacksonville, Fl for my job, a job I fucking hate. I work so I can pay child support in order to do the right thing. I do love my kids, but 60% of my income isn’t quite fair. The circumstances are long, drawn out, complicated and all the shit nobody really wants to hear about.


I do wish I could grow bigger balls, big fucking donkey balls and scream “fuck the world, fuck you job, fuck you bosses,” just a guttural fuck off to everyone and everything that pisses me off. Continue reading


When I Become President

(I wrote this a while ago and it’s still relevant)

I surely can’t be the only person who feels that America is 100% lost right now and things are not getting better any time soon. American society has become desensitized to a buffet of crap culture that continues to eat us from the inside out.

For example; we have the Kardashians running around pretty much everywhere, making more money than doctors, scientists and teachers. (I can’t help but think that Bruce Jenner is hiding in the closet videotaping his step-daughters while they change, YouTube gold.)

Every time a celebrity passes gas, we have TMZ there with cameras blazing, ready to document the fart assent into the smog-filled Los Angeles air.

We have politicians fighting on how to solve our debt problem. My mistake, I thought China already owned the United States. I must have missed something.

We have Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj fighting daily over who looks more like a Muppet gone bad project. Continue reading

Kreativ Blogger Award

A special thanks to Onlyspartanwomen for nominating me via Disfuctional Unit, I truly appreciate it and especially like how you described me:

TheSandyTongue-This blog is not for everyone.  It’s pretty raunchy.  He uses a lot of profanity.  He is not politically correct.  He’s an atheist (I think).  Every once in a while he feels compelled to do a product endorsement for some toiletry he puts on his crotch.  So who, do you ask, is the Sandy Tongue for? 

Mainly anyone who’s a sucker for people who are unapologetically compelled to speak their truth, not for shock value, but because they are sincerely expressing their uncensored opinion with the expectation that there are at least a few grown ups in the world who understand you don’t have to separate your friends and enemies along the lines of those who always share your viewpoint and those who don’t. 

I definitely do not always agree with the opinion spoken by the The Sandy Tongue (although often I do), but I appreciate the different points of view he brings to the table.  Most of the time he’s pretty funny.  Sometimes he’s downright hysterical.

Seven things that people may not know about me: Continue reading

The Skittles Caper (Trayvon Martin)

As you may know, I live in Florida so that means I am inundated daily by the media about the Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman case.

Well, after some evidence was released today, I now have some theories.

The “Evidence” (I use the term in quotations because who really knows what is real in this case): Pictures were released of Zimmerman showing cuts on the back of his head and on his nose.

A convenience store surveillance camera shows Martin, in his hoody, purchasing a bag of Skittles.  The store employee didn’t appear to be scared of the terrifying black kid in a hoody (sarcasm), in fact, he took his money and gave him some change.

And apparently, the autopsy showed that there was marijuana in Martin’s bloodstream.

The Marijuana Defense: While THC was found to be in Martin’s bloodstream, they exact time when he smoked some weed can’t be determined by any test.

This brings us to quite the dilemma:  Continue reading

Only in America…..

Only in America… can millions of innocent children starve while our government spends billions bombing dark-skinned people half way around the world.

Only in America… can someone like Kim Kardashian become famous by sucking and fucking a rapper.

Only in America… can people kill other people for Air Jordan shoes.

Only in America… can people be trampled to death trying to get into WalMart to save $20 on a television before Christmas.

Only in America… can people believe in God and not believe in Evolution or the Big Bang.

Only in America… can people be paid millions of dollars to play a sport while teachers hover near the poverty level.

Only in America… can school children text, sext and navigate social media websites, but can’t find China on a map.

Only in America… is TMZ more popular than William Shakespeare.

Only in America… is Rosie O’Donnell allowed to try to be humorous.

Only in America… can the high school quarterback be famous while the Chemistry genius gets ridiculed.

Only in America… can people eat themselves into obesity and get a special handicapped parking pass. Continue reading