**I would go to the mall, roll up into the middle of the food court and jump out of my chair screaming loudly while flailing my arms like a helicopter.
When someone approached me to help, I would rudely turn them away and tell them that I was waiting for the nice Asian girl handing out samples for the Panda Express to come over and help me. She has a nice smile and always gives away food.
**I would go to the grocery store and roll up to the fresh vegetables. I would take out my colostomy bag, set it on top of the tomatoes and loosen the hose from the bag.
Then I would roll away, without returning it into the back of my wheelchair, and let it fall to the tiled floor with a loud splat. HA, jokes on you vegetable cleaner employee.
**I would go to Disney World just so I could skip everyone in line and get on the ride without waiting. Continue reading