Dear Pussies

I’m tired of the whining, I’m tired of the bitching and complaining.  America has turned into a nation of big, giant, dripping wet pussies.

(I mean no disrespect to women or their vaginas with this post.  I quite like vaginas; it just so happens that the word “pussy” is used universally to describe people as wimps.  I didn’t create that.)

On Patriotism: Stop moaning every time I say I’m against war, that doesn’t mean I’m unpatriotic, it just means I have a differing opinion than those who enjoy bombing the hell out of dark-skinned people half way across the world.

Hey, they killed about 3,000 of us at the Twin Towers; I think we are more than even now.

How much longer do we need to prove our dick-size?

And don’t patronize me with your American Flag displays.  Nothing screams “Patriot” more than your old ass truck with a confederate flag waving from the tailgate.  AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

On American Idol Contestants: Hey parents, if your kid sings like a wounded dog, please have the courage to tell them that they suck.

When you hide the truth from your kids in an effort not to hurt their feelings, you are only setting them up for embarrassment and failure.

It’s better for you, their parents, to tell them that they suck instead of encouraging them to display their ill-fated vocals in front of a panel of judges and millions of Americans on television.

“But mommy and daddy, you said I was the best singer in the county.  Why did everyone laugh at me?”  See, just tell them they suck and none of that will happen.  Continue reading

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The Freedom to be Stupid

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein

I am an American and I would like to know what has happened to my country?

It’s wonderful to be free, but unfortunately, freedom often protects those who are complete fucking morons.

Here are some examples:

Case in point 1: Dumb-Ass North Carolina Rednecks

“Build a great big large fence 50 or 100 miles long. Put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals. Have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. You know what, in a few years, they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce,” said Charles Worley, pastor at Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C.

Why won’t any reporter covering this story just say what should be said?

I want to hear someone on live television say, “Excuse me Pastor Worley, do you realize that you are a gigantic jack-ass and you are spitting in the face of evolution with your archaic beliefs and opinions?  Stop hiding behind your Bible, fucking your sisters, do the world a favor and slit your wrists immediately.” 

But sadly, no one has the balls to say that for fear of pissing someone off.  It’s ok to piss off assholes. Continue reading