According to sources close to the White House; military options “on the table” regarding rogue Nation-State Alaska.
Trump tweeted, “we r not ruling out military options until Alaska reconnects to rest of country.”
Three seconds after that tweet, Trump again tweeted on the volatile situation, “doesn’t it seem odd that Alaska is so far from rest of the country? #weirdos”
White House staffers were shockingly caught off guard with our Dear Leader’s latest tweets.
One staffer commented under conditions of anonymous leakage, “At first we were taken aback by the President’s comments. Then when we researched the issue more closely and realized he was correct……. Alaska IS separated from the rest of the United States.”
Another staffer commented that this has been an ongoing problem created by the Obama administration. “For eight years, the Alaskan connection issue was seemingly ignored by Obama. Now we are unfortunately seeing this issue rear it’s ugly head once again. But don’t worry, Trump has vowed to Make Alaska Connect Again.”
And as this story was going to press our Dear Leader again tweeted, “#fakenews media won’t report on sad,sad,sad #alaskanotconnected story #hannity #foxnews #cnnfake”
Stay tuned for more breaking updates about this story.