After Jude’s terrible week dealing with being berated by President Trump, Clemmy finally reached out to him. She texted- “Jude, I think I have all of our problems solved, sending u an email now, dearest Clemmy.” Jude finally had a light at the end of the tunnel. He opened the email on his phone immediately: […]
Dear Hipster Schmuck, Believe it or not, I did read your letter. Well, I had someone read it to me. And I have a few things to tell you. Thanks for not voting for me. I didn’t need your sorry, smelly Hipster vote. You are exactly what’s wrong with this country. You are a perfect […]
Dear Mr. Trump, I’ve sat idly and watched as you have reached out to members of the community; white people, black people, Democrats and Republicans. It deeply saddens me that you have overlooked a significant part of the population who suffers from an extraordinary amount of discrimination. Hipsters. Yes, I repeat……….HIPSTERS. I guess you have […]
If you want a break from the idiocy that is Duh’Merica, go visit my other blog. It’s a terrific Hipster love story.
It’s the story of Jude the Hipster, his love Clemmy and his arch nemesis Billy Fucking Emo.
Hipster love is stinky, vintage, ironic and absolutely fucking hilarious.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, it’s probably going to be picked up by Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime very soon. (Author’s note: yes, the above statement is extraordinary wishful thinking, but hey, it could happen.)
Here are a couple of my favorite bits, I promise you will laugh:
It’s a love story between Jude, Clementine and Billy Fucking Emo. I promise you will laugh:
I’m ready for this to be produced for television or Netflix. Please put me in touch with a producer. This hispter love story needs to be on.
There is a fetish out there for everyone so I’m sure there is a Hipster Phone Sex Line and here’s how I think it would go down:
Caller: (after dialing 1-976-HIPSTER and giving her his credit card number) Hi there, I’m a little nervous, I’ve never done this before.
Hipster: Don’t be nervous, I’m here to ease your stress and a ease a few other things….if you know what I mean.
Caller: Oh well, that sounds nice. Can you call me Clementine?
Hipster: Sure thing, but how about Clemmy?
Caller: (giggling) Oh yeah, that’s nice. I’m already getting wet, tell me about your vintage records.
Hipster: Glad you asked, I have quite the vinyl collection. Original Sgt. Peppers, Hendrix Isle of Wight, Johnny Cash, Salt N Peppa………
Caller: (gently moaning) I was so close until Salt N Peppa. Let me hear about your ironic beard and wardrobe (hands in panties) Continue reading