After Jude’s terrible week dealing with being berated by President Trump, Clemmy finally reached out to him. She texted- “Jude, I think I have all of our problems solved, sending u an email now, dearest Clemmy.” Jude finally had a light at the end of the tunnel. He opened the email on his phone immediately: […]
Dear Mr. Trump, I’ve sat idly and watched as you have reached out to members of the community; white people, black people, Democrats and Republicans. It deeply saddens me that you have overlooked a significant part of the population who suffers from an extraordinary amount of discrimination. Hipsters. Yes, I repeat……….HIPSTERS. I guess you have […]
If you want a break from the idiocy that is Duh’Merica, go visit my other blog. It’s a terrific Hipster love story.
It’s the story of Jude the Hipster, his love Clemmy and his arch nemesis Billy Fucking Emo.
Hipster love is stinky, vintage, ironic and absolutely fucking hilarious.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, it’s probably going to be picked up by Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime very soon. (Author’s note: yes, the above statement is extraordinary wishful thinking, but hey, it could happen.)
Here are a couple of my favorite bits, I promise you will laugh:
Check it out: Jude the hipster tries outlaw poetry
Hipster Stories is a comedic blog detailing the love story/triangle between Hipster Jude, Clemmy (his love) and Billy Fucking Emo.
Check the site out if you are interested in a ridiculously sarcastic look at the hipster and emo subcultures. Two subcultures that should absolutely be ridiculed as often as possible.
Well, I enjoy poking fun at hipsters so I decided to start a series of hipster posts about Jude the Hipster and his adventures in every day life.
Jude– the Hipster, no description necessary
Sara– the Drug Store Clerk, about 22 years old and very, very average looking.
Fade In: A typical Walgreens drug store in a slightly urban, but not too urban area. Jude, wearing corduroys, a super tight shirt that says OBAMA ROCKS and a sporty purple fedora, walks into the store and heads directly to the pharmacy in the back to buy some condoms, but he has several questions for Sara the clerk.
Jude- (with confidence) Hi there. I was wondering if could answer a couple questions for me about your prophylactic products.
Sara- (a little embarrassed) Sure, I guess. I will do the best I can.
Jude- (stroking his ironic mustache) Great. Well, I like to hang out downtown and I drink a lot of craft beer.
Just last night I tried a wonderful Belgian IPA that tasted like hops that only Bavarian Monks could produce. Anyway, I digress.
Drinking a lot, coupled with my fancy mustache, I always tend to, you know, attract the ladies. Do you get my drift???
Sara- (feeling uncomfortable) I guess, what exactly is your question? Continue reading
This post was inspired by mrmarymuthafuckingpoppins and Howtodateboys date story. They made a reference about “scenesters” and it got me thinking. Hipsters, (scenester cousins), trip me out and I think the ultimate hipster date would go something like this:
Man- Sebastian, Nickname “Basty”
Woman- Sara, Nickname Clementine
The First Meeting:
It was a normal day for both Basty and Clementine and neither of them had a clue that they would meet each other in such “ironic” fashion.
By the way, this story could take place in any urban city where a formerly “bad” neighborhood is currently being transformed into the trendy place to live.
You know what I mean; hot dog vendors have been replaced by rolling craft beer stands, etc. Continue reading
(WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE CONSIDERED RACIALLY INSENSITIVE AND POLITICALLY INCORRECT, BUT THAT’S WHAT I DO BEST. And by the way, if you’ve ever been to the Atlanta airport, this could be very close to the truth.)
Here’s what happens when a hipster has a layover in the Atlanta Hartsfield International airport on his way to the Wakarusa Music Festival in Ozark, Arizona for some ironic concert fun.
Characters: Jude the Hipster and Lakeesha the TSA Agent
Lakeesha- (appearing disinterested and extremely bothered to actually be at work) Excuuuuuse me Mr. Hairy face with the stupid-ass hat on, step over hear please. You have been selected for a random search. My name is Lakeesha and I am a special search agent for the Transportation Security Administration.
Jude- (speaking like he’s ingested a handful of shrooms) Whoa, I heard about this when I was drinking green tea the other day. Very trippy, please be gentle, it took me forever to get my hat to sit just right on my head.
Lakeesha- (already getting angry) Green tea???? What in the hell is green tea?
You dumb-ass white folks always trying to drink shit that you think make you healthy. (laughing) Green tea, HA. How about some Welch’s Grape, cracker? That’ll put some hair on yo chest.
How about you take that gay-ass hat off so I can make sure you ain’t got no bombs hidden in your wannabe Bob Marley hair. Continue reading