Hurricane Irma- it’s nature dumb assess

I’m a native Floridian and just experienced Hurricane Irma firsthand.  I was very fortunate; no damage at my home and I was lucky enough not to lose power.   Hell,  I didn’t even lose my satellite television signal.

I am continually amazed at all of the fucking moronic posts on social media regarding the hurricane.  So much damn praying, so much bitching, so much illogical reasoning.

Take a look at this picture that was shared multiple times:

irmaheartPeople actually rejoiced that this split-second satellite image appears to show a heart.

Here’s a quote from someone on one of my social media feeds, “Powerful Hurricanes continue to unleash devastating winds and rain … But the strongest force in Nature is LOVE ❤️

Holy fuck, I’m sure this person sends tons of money to some asshole televangelist.

I can’t believe that people post shit like this.  Love has nothing to do with natural disasters.  Absolutely nothing.

And neither does praying.  If praying was real and actually affected real life, then what about the poor people who were destroyed by this hurricane?  I guess they didn’t pray hard enough.

It’s a natural disaster, nothing can stop it and nothing can change it.  They’ve been happening since the beginning of time and will continue to happen until the Earth is fucking gone.

People have become so fucking stupid it blows my mind.

And now there are tons of people in Florida who don’t have power and you should hear all of them bitching at once about not having air conditioning.  It’s fucking nauseating.

A random, malnourished 7 year-old boy in Africa was asked how he felt about all the people in Florida who didn’t have working air conditioners:

“What the hell is an air conditioner?  And what is electricity?  Excuse me, I have to chase down that hyena over there and collect his urine so I can have something to drink this week,” said the boy.

 

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Animal abuse, MTV & Siesta Key

These kids are assholes. Thanks MTV for putting one of them on your shitty “reality” show Siesta Key. Well done

BRADENTUCKY MAN

IMG953524-2Well, damn, you mean just because you delete a picture or video from your phone it doesn’t disappear forever?????

Take a look at this picture on the left.  This appears to be Alex Kompothecras, 1-800 Ask Gary’s kid.  He’s the spoiled brat who is the “star” of MTV’s latest garbage show called Siesta Key.

Take a look at the video link below.  I’m no scientist, but damn that looks like Alex.  If that’s not Alex, wearing a fucking Trump hat, shooting a hammerhead shark and laughing about it, well then I apologize.  But damn, that looks like him.

bradenton shark assholes at it again

And check this out, shortly before this video was released, MTV gave a very MTV garbage-like statement.

MTV Responds to Siesta Key Shark-Dragging Controversy

I really hope something can be done to punish all these people who treat animals this way.  I’m a Bradentucky native.  I’ve…

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RIP Snooty (a Bradentucky legend)

Trump and Russia possibly colluded to kill world’s oldest Manatee in captivity…….. (comedy, or is it???)

BRADENTUCKY MAN

snootyBradentucky Man is pissed.  I just can’t believe it’s true.  I woke up yesterday, went online and saw that Bradentucky’s precious mascot Snooty had died.

He was 69 years old and they just had a huge birthday party for him at the South Florida Museum the day before.

The world’s oldest, captive Manatee is dead.  He was 69 fucking years old.  He lived through 12 presidents from 1948 to the present.  But there was one president Snooty couldn’t survive…………… Donald Fuckin Trump.

Coincidence????  I think not.

This is a clear instance of the Trump team colluding with Russia to kill one of West Coast Florida’s treasured mascot’s.  My sources are telling me that Trump has always been angry at the South Florida Museum.

Apparently, a few years ago, Trump attempted to buy Snooty for an undisclosed amount because he wanted to showcase him in a fountain at the…

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Siesta Key spoiled rich kids (MTV)

New MTV reality show Siesta Key will definitely suck

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Siesta-Key-Cast-Photo-resizedGive me a fucking break.  This MTV Siesta Key reality show is going to be bull-shit.  Of course MTV wants to film a bunch of spoiled, rich kids dicking around on a beautiful beach.

This is just pure MTV laziness.  They followed around a bunch of rich kids partying on Siesta Key during the summer.  Wow, fucking genius idea MTV (sarcasm).

Check out the picture of the “cast.”  Just your normal group of young people with extra abs and zero body fat.  Oh, thanks MTV for throwing in a token “almost” black guy.

I can see the drama now:

  • “OMG, I need help putting on my bronzer on.  Don’t they have lotion boys on this beach???”
  •  “Bro, what do you mean I can’t do shots on the beach?  Don’t you know my dad is rich?”
  • “I’m so tired of sweating out here.  Can you tell your dad to buy a…

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Smokin’ Sea Cows (the other white meat)

Ever eaten a Manatee??? Bradentucky Man has.

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Snooty, aquarium 2004My daddy always said, “Hey boy, anything tastes good if you smoke it long enough.”  Damn, my daddy was smart.

Like most red-blooded Americans, I love me some barbecue.  Ribs, chicken, pulled pork………… delicious.

But I ain’t the average guy.  I’m BradentuckyMan and I’m resourceful.  I been fishin’ the waters around Bradentucky since before I could walk.  I always notice the Manatees are everywhere.

If you don’t know what a Manatee is, google “sea cow.”
They kind a look like some type a weird dinosaur.  They eat a lot of vegetation and fart a lot.

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Dog the Bounty Hunter in Bradentucky

Sweet Mullet and Boob sandwich

BRADENTUCKY MAN

dogHOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT…………………. this is going to be huge. Dog the Bounty Hunter is again coming to Bradentucky.

Dog and his oddly gigantic breasted wife Beth will be speaking at the Source church in east Bradenton.

Can I get a big “HELL YEAH” from the congregation?????  These two are the perfect couple to bring their road preachin’ to Bradentucky.

I mean shit, they look like they could be lifelong Oneco residents.  Dog’s mullet, his wife-beater shirts and all that damn leather, perfect.  And Beth can seriously rock those dream catcher earrings.

They would fit in like redneck camouflage on Coquina Beach.  Don’t even try to tell me you can’t see Dog rockin’ a cut-off jean short bathing suit. 

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religion & Bradentucky Man

Bradentucky Man and religion, it’s a hoot

BRADENTUCKY MAN

houseBradentucky Man don’t dig on religion……. don’t dig on religion of any kind.  I’m a reasonable man and god/gods just lacks reason.

The damn universe is so big we don’t even know how big it really is.  At least that’s what the scientists say.  And them scientists are way smarter than me.

But I’ve read that some people don’t really believe in science.  That freakin’ baffles me.

Generally, I’m Republican all the way, but I have to separate from my man Trump and Pence when it comes to God.  There ain’t no God, give me a break.

If there was a God, then why did he let all them Catholic priests molest little boys????  Exactly, makes no sense.  How about all them little kids dying from cancer????  Exactly, makes no sense.

Damn, if there is a God, he’s a real Son of a Bitch.

Sure I can’t prove God ain’t…

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