My Grandfather & My “Party Suicide”

(I’m reposting this because I recently went to a family party and was thinking about him.  It was one of the first parties after he died)

I went to visit my 88 year-old grandfather today.  He has Alzheimer’s, lacerated ulcers and gastric lymphoma.  He’s dying quickly now.  He took a turn for the worse the other day and it’s probably just a matter of days now.

He never had any health problems until the Alzheimer’s got him last year.

A Brief History: He was a great man.  He graduated high school when he was 16 and later graduated from college and attained a master’s degree.

He was a farmer, a lobster fisherman and was vice president of a large chemical company before retiring.

His first wife was an alcoholic and treated him, my father and my aunt like pieces of shit.  She’s dead now and I never cared.  No one shed a tear for her.

He had a second wife and she was an evil bitch.  She nearly killed him and stole everything he cared about when they divorced.

After fucking my grandfather over, she had a stroke, was paralyzed for a time and then died.  Fuck her too, I never shed a tear.

He was a great husband, father, grandfather and never hurt a soul.  He was a gentle man.

I speak of him in the past tense because he is no longer here.  His body is on earth, but his mind is gone.

His Room: I walked in to his room and there he was, under his covers with his mouth agape like he was catching flies.  His skin has become almost translucent now and he’s starting to resemble a skeleton.  Continue reading

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HEY OLD MAN!!!!!!

(This is inspired by living in Florida almost my whole life and dealing with annoying old people)

HEY OLD MAN……..Please for the love of Krishna, stay in bed long enough for me to get to work before you hit the streets in your 35 foot Cadillac and swerve your way to IHOP.  YOU ARE RETIRED and IHOP is open 24 hours a day.  That means you don’t need to drive the streets while the rest of the coherent drivers under the age of 80 are trying to bring home some bacon.

HEY OLD MAN……..Please don’t think that it’s normal for you to continually fart as you walk through the Wal-Mart aisles looking for Sensodyne.  Just because you can’t hear anything doesn’t mean that the rest of us aren’t inhaling the fumes of the dead cat that crawled up your ass while you were pulling weeds in your garden. Continue reading

Tagging, my first attempt

Alright, so I’ve been tagged by a few people, which I greatly appreciate.  I apologize for taking so long to reply, but I’ve had to travel a lot for work lately and have kids to feed.  So here goes my first attempt at this.  If I left someone out who has tagged me, I do apologize, I’m not very organized and get lost on the internet frequently.  I mean no disrespect.

Some of my favorite blogs:

http://aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com/ : wonderful, insightful, incredible life perspective, extraordinarily creative, inspirational

http://pigeonheartponderings.wordpress.com/  : all around cool as hell, extremely intelligent, quirky, kick ass advice

http://howtodateboys.wordpress.com/ : unique story teller and amazing commentator of dating “boys”, quite funny

http://retrorambling.wordpress.com/: TidiousTed, very cool retro blog posts

http://retrorambling.wordpress.com/:  Some quick, cool posts

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you in the last 36 hours? I ate some Southwest Egg Rolls at Chilis.  They are magical.

2. What are your pet peeves?  Old people who pass gas in public, old people who get in my way, old people who smell.  Pretty much most old people.  I live in Florida, it’s gets very fucking annoying dodging the elderly every day. Continue reading