Americans First- Trump meme

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Trump is not the problem here

trumpWatching this White House operate has truly been amazing.  Every day some new bull shit surfaces.  Some new reason to be worried, some new statement that makes me scratch my balls, smell my hand and say HMMMMM.

But honestly, Trump is not to blame for this.  We are to blame.  Duh’Merica is the problem here.  It doesn’t matter who sits in the big chair, the people of Duh’Merica, myself included, are the idiots here.

After all, Trump was elected fairly.  So that means more people selected him over any other candidates.  Well done Duh’Merica, well done.

People are so easily manipulated by social media that they can never seem to actually see what is real.  Truth has just become whatever narrative each person chooses to accept.

Like Charles P. Pierce said, “Anything is true if it is said loud enough.”

Well guess what?  Trump was louder than Hillary in every single, fucking way.  And all you Duh’Mericans ate that shit up.

He just keep repeating the same boring Republican mantra over and over and over and over.  And you all bought in with wreck-less fucking abandon.

When he proclaimed he would “lock her up,” all of privileged White-America collectively jizzed their pants.  And now we are left with a 4 year stain that is going to be far worse than what Bill Clinton shot all over Monica’s dress.

We deserve this Duh’Merica, we ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DESERVE THIS.

RIP Snooty (a Bradentucky legend)

Trump and Russia possibly colluded to kill world’s oldest Manatee in captivity…….. (comedy, or is it???)

BRADENTUCKY MAN

snootyBradentucky Man is pissed.  I just can’t believe it’s true.  I woke up yesterday, went online and saw that Bradentucky’s precious mascot Snooty had died.

He was 69 years old and they just had a huge birthday party for him at the South Florida Museum the day before.

The world’s oldest, captive Manatee is dead.  He was 69 fucking years old.  He lived through 12 presidents from 1948 to the present.  But there was one president Snooty couldn’t survive…………… Donald Fuckin Trump.

Coincidence????  I think not.

This is a clear instance of the Trump team colluding with Russia to kill one of West Coast Florida’s treasured mascot’s.  My sources are telling me that Trump has always been angry at the South Florida Museum.

Apparently, a few years ago, Trump attempted to buy Snooty for an undisclosed amount because he wanted to showcase him in a fountain at the…

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Siesta Key spoiled rich kids (MTV)

New MTV reality show Siesta Key will definitely suck

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Siesta-Key-Cast-Photo-resizedGive me a fucking break.  This MTV Siesta Key reality show is going to be bull-shit.  Of course MTV wants to film a bunch of spoiled, rich kids dicking around on a beautiful beach.

This is just pure MTV laziness.  They followed around a bunch of rich kids partying on Siesta Key during the summer.  Wow, fucking genius idea MTV (sarcasm).

Check out the picture of the “cast.”  Just your normal group of young people with extra abs and zero body fat.  Oh, thanks MTV for throwing in a token “almost” black guy.

I can see the drama now:

  • “OMG, I need help putting on my bronzer on.  Don’t they have lotion boys on this beach???”
  •  “Bro, what do you mean I can’t do shots on the beach?  Don’t you know my dad is rich?”
  • “I’m so tired of sweating out here.  Can you tell your dad to buy a…

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Bradentucky Man & Putin

Bradentucky Man and Putin, a real man’s opinion

BRADENTUCKY MAN

putin-629959Bradentucky Man is a proud American.  No one can say I don’t love my country.  I love America almost as much as I love Bradentucky.

So I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think Putin is playing the Trump family like a fine Russian fiddle.

I can’t believe what I’ve been reading about Don Jr. and his dumfuckery with that meeting.

I guess I understand it a little.  I mean you dangle some fine, Russian hotty in front of him and he bit hard.  But damn, you put it in emails??????trumpjr

Come on man.  Even Bradentucky Man knows you don’t put anything in email that you don’t want people to see.

Shit, that’s why I only use Snapchat.  You take a picture and they disappear forever.  You would be amazed at how many cock-shots I’ve sent with that app.  Can I get a “HELL YEAH?”

But seriously. …

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Smokin’ Sea Cows (the other white meat)

Ever eaten a Manatee??? Bradentucky Man has.

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Snooty, aquarium 2004My daddy always said, “Hey boy, anything tastes good if you smoke it long enough.”  Damn, my daddy was smart.

Like most red-blooded Americans, I love me some barbecue.  Ribs, chicken, pulled pork………… delicious.

But I ain’t the average guy.  I’m BradentuckyMan and I’m resourceful.  I been fishin’ the waters around Bradentucky since before I could walk.  I always notice the Manatees are everywhere.

If you don’t know what a Manatee is, google “sea cow.”
They kind a look like some type a weird dinosaur.  They eat a lot of vegetation and fart a lot.

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seriously Don Jr. seriously????

lawyer(Disclaimer: I hate all politicians.  Please don’t mistake my criticism of our current royal family as an endorsement for Hillary or Obama.)

Wow, what a fucking dumb ass.  Don Trump Jr. actually fell for the oldest spy trick in the book.

So you mean to tell me that all Russia had to do was dangle some good-looking foreign pussy in front of Don Jr.???  And he took the bait, just like a teen-age boy desperate to see some titty.

Holy fuck, our country is doomed.  Haven’t any of the Trumps ever watched the Americans?  This same scenario happens in almost every fucking episode.  Men are so fucking stupid, so fucking easy to fool.  Well done Don Jr.

“Hey Don Jr., I have bad, bad info on Hilary for you or father.  Can come to your office and talk about it, no?”  said any Russian with tits.

Don Jr. is the guy most real men want to punch in the face.  Just watch his Fox News interview regarding his idiocy.  He’s so fucking smug.  He is privilege gone out of control.

But it really doesn’t matter.  Nothing will happen to him, nothing will happen to his father.  Because they are rich and they are almighty and that’s how Duh’Merica works.

We created this.  We deserve this.  We are Duh’Merica.

Almost forgot….. I hope that Russian adoption thing works out.