this is our president (tucker vs trump)

(The source for this below post is Brad Jaffy @BraddJaffy on Twitter)

carlson-trumpPolitically speaking, I consider myself more in the center and at times maybe a bit left of center.  So generally I am not a fan of Fox News.

But, I will say that I sometimes do enjoy Tucker Carlson.  I first started listening to him on a the Bubba the Love Sponge Show out of Tampa, FL.

I feel like Carlson can be very fair, even though he works for Fox News.  He should be commended for that.

Carlson interviewed Trump last night and asked some good questions about wiretapping and Trump’s tweeting habits.

Carlson: you tweet, the former administration wiretapped me, surveilled me, at Trump Tower during the last election.  How did you find out?  You said, I just found out.  How did you learn that?

Trump: Well, I’ve been reading about things.  I read in, I think it was January 20 a “New York Times” article where they were talking about wiretapping.  There was an article, I think they used the exact term.  I read other things.  I watched your friend Bret Baier the day previous where he was talking about certain very complex sets of things happening, and wiretapping.  I said, wait a minute, there’s a lot of wiretapping being talked about.  I’ve been seeing a lot of things.  Now, for the most part, I’m not going to discuss it, because we have it before the committee and we will be submitting things before the committee very soon that hasn’t been submitted as of yet.  But it’s potentially a very serious situation.

Carlson later asked Trump: Why not wait to tweet about it until you can prove it?  Don’t you devalue your words when you can’t provide evidence?

Trump replied: Well, because “The New York Times” wrote about it.  Not that I respect “The New York Times”.  I call it the failing “New York Times”.  But they did write on January 20 using the word wiretap.

Regardless of what you believe or the politicians you support, you should all have a major problem with interactions like this from our President.

Holy shit, this is our President.  This is the so-called “leader” of the free world.  Trump based a very dangerous allegation against a previous president because Trump’s “been reading about things.”

Holy….. fucking……shit.

Hey Duh’Merica, keep believing that everything negative said or reported about Trump is a lie.  Keep believing that everything negative about Trump is “fake news.”  Keep believing that Trump is not a politician and that he wants to “Make America Great Again.”

You are all fools.  Trump only cares about himself and making his brand and his family more wealthy.  One day, this is what the history books will say.

Cheers, China and now Russia wins again.

 

 

 

 

 

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Duh’Merica (a poem)

DUH’merica, what have you done?

While you parade the streets in gas guzzling suburbans, there are soldiers dying around the world trying to kill dark-skinned people after taking orders from fat, pasty-white politicians who only care about their offshore bank accounts.

DUH’merica, why don’t you care?

That our children have difficulty finding China on a map, but they can update their Facebook status perfectly while crossing a busy city street without getting splattered in traffic.

DUH’merica, why can’t you turn it off?

The Kardashians, TMZ, The Bachelor, American Idol, America’s Got Talent sift through the minds of our youth like a slow, neurotoxin eating them from the inside out. Continue reading

you are a target market

It’s about 10 at night and McDonald’s starts rolling out their visually delicious Egg McMuffin commercials as you sit on the couch with one hand scratching your balls and the other hand holding the remote.

You change the channel because your attention span is that of a 3 year-old and you need to find something to watch between commercials of the inane reality show you were watching.

The next channel is Taco Bell enticing you with another visually delicious picture of a taco wrapped with a Dorito shell.

Holy Shit, what to do now? 

One– you can turn the television off and go to bed.

Or, Two– you can drive your lazy ass to Taco Bell and buy four of those tasty tacos, remember they are open LATE.

Or, Three- you can waddle your fat ass over the refrigerator, stick your head in and peruse the shelves for something to eat.   Three is the best bet, because you don’t have to leave the house and you can always get that McDonalds breakfast when you wake up.

So, option Three it is.  Yummy, how about re-heating that hamburger helper you had for dinner, that will work.

After eating some more fat, sodium and calories, you go to bed and wonder why you can’t stop belching and wonder why your chest hurts.  It’s ok, just roll over on your side and fart yourself to sleep.

Hey FAT BOY, did you realize that you are a target market?

Don’t try to argue, you are the reason why those commercials exist, you are the reason health care costs are skyrocketing, you are the reason why the next commercial to entice you is discounted medical supplies for diabetics.  Because you are going to need insulin, FAT BOY.

And stop dreaming, sorry, but you are never going to marry Paula Dean, she’s taken.

But don’t worry, I’m sure there is a lawyer out there who will gladly take on your lawsuit against fast food companies for making you obese.  It’s their fault you can’t stop shoveling shit in your mouth.

DUH’America- We have all become a target market and can’t get enough of it.  Again, this is why China will win.

Butt Implants & Instagram

lilwaynenickiminajThe other day my 13 year-old daughter was showing me pictures on her Instagram of a girl who posted several before and after pictures of her new butt implants.

She is 14 years old.  Let me repeat that…………… a 14 year-old with butt implants.  Supposedly.

Now, at face value, I didn’t and don’t believe it.

Having three daughters, I can’t even fathom the thought of a parent giving permission for a 14 year-old to have any kind of cosmetic surgery.  I did a quick search online and I don’t even think it’s legal to have it done at that age.  I didn’t care to spend too much time researching, because I really don’t care.

But all that is beside the point.

A girl this age posting pictures of her fake butt implants on Instagram is such a sad commentary on today’s society.  Social media provides an avenue for people to satiate their constant need for attention, and that is not a good thing. Continue reading

Dear Kayne (I’m also bound)

kayneDear Kayne,

Bound- something that limits or restrains (as defined by Merriam Webster’s online dictionary)

When it comes to you, the definition of bound feels incredibly real for me.  When I watched your video, I felt:

bound by the laws of gravity when I wanted to fly as far away from this planet as possible.

bound by the concept of restraint when I wanted to heave my computer screen into the ocean so no one in my home could ever watch that video again.

bound by the limits of fear while I cringed thinking about all the little boys and girls who want to be like you and Kim

bound by the reality that you weren’t the first hip hop dude to fuck Kim on video, that must absolutely kill you

I watched your interview on Ellen and was at first mildly impressed until you went all Kayne and shit and started babbling about how great you were.  I don’t care how many Grammy’s you have.

You know who else won a Grammy?: The Baha Men, Milli Vanilli and Christopher Cross won best album over Pink Floyd’s The Wall in 1981.  Even you would have to admit that the Grammy’s are a bit flawed.

If there is any doubt about your character and inflated view of yourself, here are a couple of quotes that came from your mouth:

“I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.” (from www.brainyquote.com)

“I am God’s vessel.  But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” (from www.brainyquote.com)

I’m pretty sure you just redefined the word “DOUCHE BAG”.  Kayne, you are yet another reason why China will win.

Here’s a link to Kayne’s new masterpiece: THE VIDEO FROM HELL

And here’s the hilarious parody video by James Franco and Seth Rogen: SO BRILLIANT

MTV, Miley and Duh’Merica (the end is near)

Miley-Cyrus-performance-at-MTV-VMA-2013-2223057So the internet blew up the other day because of Miley Cyrus and her performance at the VMA awards and I’m left incredibly confused.

I watched her “performance” and I had difficulty finding anything artistic about it.  She can’t sing and she can’t dance.  Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth like a dog who has been wandering the desert for 10 years without water.

She appeared to me to be a lost soul doing everything she could to “shock” people.  And sadly, it worked.

Twitter nearly exploded as millions of thumbs tweeted and typed “OMG’s” about Miley’s ass shaking.  Each time she touched Robin Thicke’s dick with that foam finger, I wondered what good ole’ Billy Ray would have thought.

I think Billy Ray’s heart is definitely aching and breaking right now.  Could you imagine just losing your wife because she fucked Brett Michaels and then watching your daughter attempt to be a porn star on national television? Continue reading

China- Still Winning

reese-witherspoon-cancels-fallon-appearance-after-arrestI argue with people quite often about the current health of American Society.  And when I use the term “health”, I mean the current state of the American people as an educated society.

I poke fun at my country and often say that China is winning.  So today, I went to a website visited daily by millions of Americans just to keep up with current events.

According to TMZ, this is what Americans care about today:

Story 1- Reese Witherspoon’s infamous “you are going to know who I am,” moment.  Ah Reese, so nice to see you putting into practice all that legal knowledge from your Legally Blonde movies.

Apparently, millions of Americans care about a washed-up actress who thinks she’s better than all the sheep who watch her movies.  Your husband was drunk, shut the fuck up and obey the cop.  Newsflash- Georgia cops don’t give a fuck about Hollywood.

Story 2- “Teen Mom Farrah Working Another Pole”  HOLY FUCKING SHIT.  Here is a girl who was on television for breeding too early.  When her tiny pinch of fame began to dissipate, she decided to follow in the steps of Kim Kardashian and make a fuck movie.

BRILLIANT.  Hey America, all you have to do for fame is fuck somebody, video tape it and then pretend you had no idea your bleached asshole was on the internet.

Story 3- Only 3 Words Necessary– LINDSAY…..FUCKING….LOHAN.  I didn’t get past the headline, but I assume it has to do with court, drugs, lawyer and rehab.

In the interest of time, I’m going to stop there because the next stories are essentially a regurgitation of the first ones.  Only the names are different.

So America, don’t bitch when China takes over and we are eating fried golden retriever puppy nuggets, taking rickshaws to work at a factory making cheap, plastic toys for Wal Mart.

I warned you.  China is still winning.