Church Signs & Oral Sex

“They stand best, who kneel most.” 

 

stupid-church-signI saw this on a sign in front of a church the other day while traveling for work.

I’m guessing that this particular church was going for a quote about praying, hence the kneeling reference. 

But, my immediate thoughts revolved around oral sex and more specifically, blowjobs.

If the quote is indeed to be homage to people who pray, I’m having trouble grasping the logic behind it.  So, the more someone kneels on the ground praying, the better they stand? 

I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think frequent kneeling is conducive to good posture.  So by my logic, those who kneel too much will probably not be able to stand very well at all.

I’m very afraid that “Frequent Kneelers” may end up with horribly bad posture and terrible back problems.  How could a church promote such actions that would be a detriment to the health of their worshipers? Continue reading

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Hey North Carolina,

So how does it feel to be in the spotlight because of a crazy, ass, white-trash preacher who thinks gays should be eliminated from the planet?

No worries, I get it, you have to follow your Bible that says homosexuality is an abomination and punishable by death.

I’m always impressed with people who hold a belief and remain steadfast in those beliefs.  Commitment is a wonderful, godly attribute.

But the hold the phone here, I just read a study that says North Carolina is 14th most obese state in the nation with 29.4% of its adults being considered obese.

OOOPS, it appears hypocrisy has reared its ugly head once again in the deep, deep south.

“He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.” Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”

Oh shit, you do realize that comes from the same Bible that condemns gay people, right? Continue reading

One Million “Stupid” Moms Protesting Gay Comic Book Hero

Just when I thought I had heard it all, I came across this story about moms protesting Marvel and DC Comics because they are going to announce that one of their superheroes is gay.

By the way, this is the same group who tried to protest JC Penny because of hiring Ellen as their spokesperson.  Ellen is probably one of the most generous people on the planet and she happens to be a lesbian, who fucking cares.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE HERE

Last time I checked, comic books weren’t real.  I repeat, COMIC BOOK HEROES ARE NOT REAL.

This quote from the protesting Mom group says it all:

“Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, “I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?”

This is ridiculous! Why do adult gay men need comic superheroes as role models? They don’t but do want to indoctrinate impressionable young minds by placing these gay characters on pedestals in a positive light. These companies are heavily influencing our youth by using children’s superheroes to desensitize and brainwash them in thinking that a gay lifestyle choice is normal and desirable. As Christians, we know that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27).

Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to homosexuality at an early age. Comic books would be one of the last places a parent would expect their child to be confronted with homosexual topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Children do not know what straight, homosexual, or coming out of the closet even means, but DC Comics and Marvel are using superheroes to confuse them on this topic to raise questions and awareness of an alternative lifestyle choice.” Continue reading