Mandatory Sterilization (Yep, I said it)

I am a proponent of mandatory sterilization and here is why: (my true feelings mixed with some humor)

I believe that some people should not be allowed to breed.  For example, a while ago a mother left her two infant children alone in a bath tub while she was outside on her patio surfing the web.

Solution easy– tie her tubes, she shouldn’t be allowed to have any more children and take the one surviving child away from her.

Any time a mother or father does something this stupid, they should lose their breeding privileges and they should be sterilized.  Why should they be allowed the potential to harm any more children?  Makes no sense to me.

I mean when someone gets a few DUI’s or speeding tickets, the government takes your license away.  Why not sterilize then?  If a parent makes 2 idiotic life threatening mistakes in respect to their children, bring out the scalpel.

“But I didn’t think little Skeeter would get hurt if I locked him inside the house with my 3 pit bulls while I was out buying lotto tickets and getting another case of Natural Lite Ice, he is 3 years old now.”

Sorry dip-shit, put your feet in the stirrups, it’s time to get neutered.

I know what you are thinking…….“but surely there will be opposition from the people you are wanting to sterilize.”

Of course there will be opposition, but that’s an easy fix.  All you have to do is offer them cases of Mountain Dew, Benson & Hedges cigs, barrels of ranch dressing, gift certificates to Dollar General, or free tanning coupons.  That should do the trick.

“I didn’t know that if I left Betty Lou locked in the car while I ran into Cato looking for stirrup pants that she could get injured.  I mean I even turned the car off and rolled up the windows so as to make sure the engine didn’t make her hot.  It was only 95 degrees out.  I really needed them stirrup pants anyhow, I had to try on 4 pairs, I was only gone 45 minutes.”

Sorry miss, put your feet in the stirrups, it’s time to harvest your uterus.

Seriously, there are plenty of people who shouldn’t be allowed to breed.  Sterilization seems like a great idea to me.  Any thoughts??

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Scenes from a Waiting Room

Act I. (the elderly)
Old, musty ass wrinkled seniors wearing bad track suits, their lifeless, aged skin scarred with purple gum colored splotches hanging from their bones like loose sleeves,
a cell phone rings deep inside a purse underneath the dentures and coupons, by the time the old lady realized it was ringing, silence

Act II. (the soccer mom)
Frost dyed hair, way too tight Hollister shirt, tight faded jeans with pocket designs, elastic fake tits shaped into perfect round globes, husband at work banging his secretary who has even faker tits, but younger body
wife doesn’t care as long as she gets Starbucks 3 times daily,the phat mommy suburban with the cutesy family stickers on the back window showing how many people are in the family, the glowing quarter sized diamond earrings and the trips to Vail, easy to have no soul than to deal with reality

Act III. (the salesmen)
Bad cuff links that even gay dudes wouldn’t wear, fake ass smile accompanied by even faker greetings, slick gelled guido-like hair stuck to their scalps with paste, belts crushed by doughnut stomachs,
calling names like cattle and branding the innocents with fees

Act IV. (me)
Three freaking hours waiting for tires, brought a Bukowski book, could only imagine what he would have thought
I couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t finish reading, couldn’t play games on my cell phone, I just kept watching the train wreck evolve with every new person who came into the waiting room, no blood or body parts, crap.

Red, White and Boo (a poem)

I see your Katie Perry

And I raise you Beyonce.

What ever happened to real art, like the Fat Boys?

Now, just splendid drivel cascading from the youthful mouth

Texting, sexting, pursed lips and Jersey Shore dreams.

Find China on a map? Fuck You, I’m getting my nails done at 3.

Be careful young ones, the noodles and puppy nuggets are coming to a store near you.

I see your E Hollywood News

And raise you Dancing With the Stars.

Posting every mundane bit of your daily shit for all to see

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace your freaking life away

My eyes, dried and burnt from your “Do you like me?” poll.

Keep your pom poms clean and your cell phone charged.

I see your De-evolution

And go all in with your soul

Shouldn’t be difficult to call my bet

You are another failed demographic, another vapid target market.

Duh’Merica (a poem)

DUH’merica, what have you done?

While you parade the streets in gas guzzling suburbans, there are soldiers dying around the world trying to kill dark-skinned people after taking orders from fat, pasty-white politicians who only care about their offshore bank accounts.

DUH’merica, why don’t you care?

That our children have difficulty finding China on a map, but they can update their Facebook status perfectly while crossing a busy city street without getting splattered in traffic.

DUH’merica, why can’t you turn it off?

The Kardashians, TMZ, The Bachelor, American Idol, America’s Got Talent sift through the minds of our youth like a slow, neurotoxin eating them from the inside out. Continue reading

the great distraction (nothing is real)

“One great big festering neon distraction, I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.  Learn to swim.” Aenema by Tool

If you haven’t noticed yet, nothing is real anymore.  Nothing at all is real anymore.  American Society has been effectively reduced to a group of people who will believe anything fed to them…. as long as the food fits whatever their respective narrative is.

070911-N-4007G-008 SAN DIEGO (Sept. 11, 2007) - American flags bearing the names of victims from the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and Flight 93 on Sept. 11, 2001, adorn a makeshift monument at the Balboa Park 2007 Freedom Walk. Service members and residents from the San Diego community showed their support through the walk to remember those who lost their lives on that day. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Brian Gaines. (RELEASED)

The media, the politicians, the huge corporations are the predatory birds dropping whatever bits of leftover bullshit they are selling into the willingly open mouths of the baby birds……. the American public.

American Society has become so addicted to instant gratification, that it has no time left for reason.  The headlines are the entire story, don’t worry about searching for the truth.  As long as it fits your respective narrative, then it becomes your truth.  And your truth is absolute.

Stop believing that your political beliefs are correct.  Republicans, Democrats and Independents are not distinctive in any way, shape or form.  Each political party is a different shade of evil, but evil nonetheless.  Your vote does not matter.  Stop thinking it does.

We have become a society distracted by anything that appeals to our senses.  Anything that makes us erect, anything that helps numb us from our mundane lives, anything that gets us through to the next day.

The best part of it all is that none of this matters.  None of this really matters at all.  We are just a bunch of animals, living on a pale blue dot in the middle of nowhere.  But damn, it sure seems bigger than that.  Stay distracted Duh’Merica, stay distracted.

 

 

 

eat, shit, breed, repeat………….

maxresdefaultWe humans are all animals, there’s no getting around that fact.  We eat, shit, breed and repeat.  Just like dogs, cats, birds, worms, etc.

But damn, we humans have such a high fucking opinion of ourselves.  We are the center of our universe.  We are so intellectually evolved.  We build pretty, shiny, big things.  We read, we write, we communicate so eloquently.

But, we still eat, shit, breed and repeat.

The most genius minds on this planet still pull down their pants each day, sit on a porcelain toilet and evacuate their bowels.  Just like a dog shitting in your yard.  The shit is no different.

We strut around our planet like we are the fucking kings.  Just like all those who were here before us.  All those who we now make fun of for believing that the Earth was flat.   But, alas, we are smarter than them.  We are so much better than them.

But, we still eat, shit, breed and repeat………. just like they did.

 

 

 

 

A Fear of Public Toilets

“I’ve always thought that the stereotype of the dirty old man is really the creation of a dirty young man who wants the field to himself.” Hugh Downs

When I was a little kid from about the ages of 6-10, my dad used to take me to Tampa Bay Bucs football games.

I loved football and it was great father/son bonding, but this is where my fear of public bathrooms originated.

I will never forget having to pee, I mean I was a little kid and probably pissed quite a bit.  My dad would walk with me into the bathroom and as I walked in the door a giant, aluminum trough was staring back at me.

There were no urinals on the wall with nice privacy dividers.  There was only the enormous trough up against the wall packed with several men standing shoulder to shoulder in various stages of alcoholic inebriation.  Continue reading