religion & Bradentucky Man

Bradentucky Man and religion, it’s a hoot

BRADENTUCKY MAN

houseBradentucky Man don’t dig on religion……. don’t dig on religion of any kind.  I’m a reasonable man and god/gods just lacks reason.

The damn universe is so big we don’t even know how big it really is.  At least that’s what the scientists say.  And them scientists are way smarter than me.

But I’ve read that some people don’t really believe in science.  That freakin’ baffles me.

Generally, I’m Republican all the way, but I have to separate from my man Trump and Pence when it comes to God.  There ain’t no God, give me a break.

If there was a God, then why did he let all them Catholic priests molest little boys????  Exactly, makes no sense.  How about all them little kids dying from cancer????  Exactly, makes no sense.

Damn, if there is a God, he’s a real Son of a Bitch.

Sure I can’t prove God ain’t…

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life quotes from Bradentucky Man

Life quotes from a true man

BRADENTUCKY MAN

arkYou’ve probably seen some of these on social media or in many of the several reputable media outlets.

Bradentucky Man prides himself on his self-proclaimed “brilliant” insights about life.

But in case you missed them,  here are some of Bradentucky Man’s best quotes:

On politicians: “You can spray a pile of shit with Fabreeze, but it’s still a pile of shit. When you get close to it, you are still going to want to puke.”

On religion: “Ain’t no way in hell that Noah built a damn ark without gettin’ ate up by a tiger or bitten by a damn cobra.  Come on people.  Stop praying and get a job.”

On immigration: “Let em’ all in, I got my guns bitches.  Bring it on.”

On racism: “Look, stop all the bull shit.  There is white-trash, black-trash, mexican-trash and asian-trash.  Trash don’t care about color.”

On life: “Eat. sleep, get drunk…

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Who is Bradentucky Man??

Please check out my friend’s site. It’s a new blog about a city in Florida called Bradenton or “Bradentucky.” It’s the tits.

BRADENTUCKY MAN

mainstreetWhere is he from? – Bradenton, FL (the greatest city on the fuckin’ planet.)

What does he like? – getting drunk, bikini girls, fishing, getting drunk, cussing at the police and getting drunk.

What are his views on politics? – “I’m tired of all the damn illegals taking our jobs.  Fuck Hilary and Obama, bunch a pussies.  Trump baby, that’s where it’s at,” Bradentucky Man.

What does he do for a job?“A little of this, a little of that, don’t fuckin worry about it,” Bradentucky Man.

What are his favorite restaurants? – Basil’s for chicken.  Demetrios for pizza and O’Bricks for fine dining.

What does he think about tourists/snow-birds? – Spend your money, stay off my bar-stool and mind your damn business.

What are his ultimate life goals? – Just make it to the next happy hour…….. and make Bradentucky Great Again.  Wooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

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Freedom protects the idiots too

0530-kathy-griffin-graphic-donald-trump-head-cut-off-tyler-sheilds-9Kathy Griffin is a shit comedian.  She’s not funny.  She’s not talented.  I can’t tell which is more offensive; her face or the fake Trump head.

These are my opinions.

I am allowed to express my opinions because of the First Amendment.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” The First Amendment

People often forget that the First Amendment protects everyone’s speech.  It protects a preacher quoting the Bible just like it protects a Satanist talking shit about God.

It doesn’t just protect what you like/dislike or what I like/dislike.  That’s the beauty of America.  We have this freedom.  We can walk outside and say whatever we want without fear of being beheaded.

So stop freaking out over a washed-up, shit comedian’s feeble attempt to remain relevant.  Don’t watch her.  Don’t listen to her.  Don’t purchase anything that she could make money from.  Simple.

Conservatives are always talking about the “pussification” of America.  How about drinking your own Kool-Aid now………… you bunch a pussies.

Kathy Griffin doesn’t represent the Left.  She represents herself.  And she is fucking pathetic.

But then again, we are Duh’Merica and this is exactly what we deserve.

Trump’s new Pledge of Allegiance

“I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the disjointed States of Tump’Merica.  And to the Republic, for which it stands, One Nation, under Russia, with liberty for the privileged and justice for those with white skin.”

pencetrumpOur Dear Leader has proposed the above changes to the Pledge of Allegiance.  The Republican Congress should have no problem passing it.

Sadly though, it was reported that Mike Pence was furious because he wanted to have the word “God” added 150 times regardless of making any sense. (this is not actual news, this is hyperbole, comedy, etc.)

As ridiculous as this sounds, I wouldn’t surprised if some version of this happened one day.  Because this is the current state of Duh’Merica.

We are spinning wildly in a society without logic, without reason and without intelligent thought.  Anger and emotions have taken center stage.  Logic is just an afterthought.

We are Duh’Merica and we deserve this.

(By the way, I am a white man, I’ve never supported Hillary and I’m no bleeding heart.)

 

 

the Redneck Parade (when Trump returns)

horsetrumpWhen Trump returns from his first global visit (the greatest presidential global visit in the history of America): there will be a parade to celebrate.  Not just any parade, the greatest parade ever………… the greatest parade in the history of ever.

Trump, our dear leader, will ride in on a gigantic white stallion (of course it will be white).  The stallion’s name will be “Nationalism.”  Our Dear Leader will ride Nationalism without a saddle, because he’s a stud like that.

It has nothing to do with ironic symbolism. (That symbolism being the absence of stability within this administration).

Our Dear Leader will be riding Nationalism extremely erect with his usual victorious smile and brandishing two gigantic, gold six shooters.  The bullets will streak into the air with smoke signal slogans of ; Muslim Ban, Jail Hillary, Fuck the FBI, Fake News, No Russian Collusion, etc.

While watching the bullet smoke signals, the angry white Rednecks will applaud loudly; even though they have trouble reading and continually become distracted by their opposable thumbs.

But what they do know is that whatever their Dear Leader says is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TRUE.  They continue to applaud and applaud and applaud and applaud until they need a Mountain Dew refill, only then does the crowd quiet.

Unfortunately, Our Dear Leader realized the power of the Redneck Vote.  They are so easily fooled, so easily influenced, so easily agitated.  It only took a few truly fake news stories and an agenda of hate to win their votes.  And their votes were many.

Every night I look to the sky and cry; pleading with the aliens to come take me to their home.  Far, far away from this planet.

sexual harassment isn’t real

Of course our Dear Leader Donald Trump is going to support his butt-buddy Bill O’Reilly regarding sexual harassment settlements.  I mean why the hell not?  Fox has only settled five suits brought against Billy boy.

Trump said to the New York Times: I think he’s a person I know well — he is a good person,” Trump said, according to the Times. “I think he shouldn’t have settled; personally I think he shouldn’t have settled. Because you should have taken it all the way. I don’t think Bill did anything wrong.

It’s always refreshing when the leader of the free world comments about media personalities and their sex suits.

billtrump

GOOD, FUCKING, LORD.

This is our Oval office.  This is our Dear Leader.

But then again, he did talk about grabbing women by the pussy.  So what should we expect?

I truly wonder if our Dear Leader understands what sexual harassment really is.  Maybe he thinks grabbing pussy is similar to how he “negotiates.”

When you are a billionaire you don’t have to negotiate.  You boss-hog your way through life and tell the other party exactly what you are going to do.  They can either take it or leave it.

We should all be embarrassed.  We should all be saddened by this.

Is our Dear Leader privy to some information that would exonerate his buddy?  No, probably not.  He just “knows” him and “knows” he wouldn’t do something like that.

Or, Billy Balls has video of our Dear Leader grabbing a lot of pussy.  That’s probably more plausible.

(I do feel sorry for all women and men who have been sexually harassed or abused in any way.  It’s a sad commentary on our society when people like Trump/O’Reilly devalue a very serious issue.)