Trump & the Boy Scout (a conversation)

boy-scouts-2Minutes before delivering his speech to thousands of boy scouts at the Boy Scout Jamboree, our Dear Leader Trump spoke with a 9 year-old boy scout named Tommy.

The following is a recap of the conversation:

Trump- Hello young hero boy, how are you on this incredible day, this fabulous day, this day that will go down in history as the greatest Boy Scout Jamboree in the history of all jamborees?

Tommy- Hi.  My name is Tommy.  Yesterday, I learned how to tie a tie and I got a badge for it.  See my badge, isn’t it cool?

Trump- Oh Tommy, don’t worry about Hillary and all those emails she deleted.  I’m going to make sure no one ever forgets about that.

Tommy- I have a cousin named Hillary.  She’s 6 years old and likes when I make her smores.  I got a badge for making smores.  See my badge, isn’t it awesome.  My mom and dad won’t let me use email yet.

Trump– What’s that you say Tommy?  You are scared to got to bed at night because you are worried about all the illegal immigrants taking your dad’s job and raping your mom?  Don’t worry about that, I’m going to have the Boy Scouts build a wall around any area where brown people try to get in to our country illegally.

Tommy- I built a small tomato garden with a wall around it in my back yard and got a badge for it.  Check out my badge, isn’t it swell?  Mr. President, what does rape mean???

After the rape comment, Tommy’s parents took him back to the audience quickly.

Then, our Dear Leader walked onto the stage and  began his speech like this:

“You know, I just met with a young Scout Hero Boy backstage.  He told me that he was very scared that Hillary would delete his dad’s job and let a brown-skinned illegal alien rape his mom.  I told the young Scout Hero Boy not to worry.  I have no connections to Russia.  Fake News Media, Fake News Media, Voter fraud.  If anything happens to your parents it will be because Obama was born in Kenya.  What a wonderfully smart boy he is.  He will surely never be captured in war.  Little Tommy Scout Hero Boy is a true American hero.”

(Obviously this is comedy and is not real.  But, I could definitely envision a conversation like this happening.)

 

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RIP Snooty (a Bradentucky legend)

Trump and Russia possibly colluded to kill world’s oldest Manatee in captivity…….. (comedy, or is it???)

BRADENTUCKY MAN

snootyBradentucky Man is pissed.  I just can’t believe it’s true.  I woke up yesterday, went online and saw that Bradentucky’s precious mascot Snooty had died.

He was 69 years old and they just had a huge birthday party for him at the South Florida Museum the day before.

The world’s oldest, captive Manatee is dead.  He was 69 fucking years old.  He lived through 12 presidents from 1948 to the present.  But there was one president Snooty couldn’t survive…………… Donald Fuckin Trump.

Coincidence????  I think not.

This is a clear instance of the Trump team colluding with Russia to kill one of West Coast Florida’s treasured mascot’s.  My sources are telling me that Trump has always been angry at the South Florida Museum.

Apparently, a few years ago, Trump attempted to buy Snooty for an undisclosed amount because he wanted to showcase him in a fountain at the…

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Siesta Key spoiled rich kids (MTV)

New MTV reality show Siesta Key will definitely suck

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Siesta-Key-Cast-Photo-resizedGive me a fucking break.  This MTV Siesta Key reality show is going to be bull-shit.  Of course MTV wants to film a bunch of spoiled, rich kids dicking around on a beautiful beach.

This is just pure MTV laziness.  They followed around a bunch of rich kids partying on Siesta Key during the summer.  Wow, fucking genius idea MTV (sarcasm).

Check out the picture of the “cast.”  Just your normal group of young people with extra abs and zero body fat.  Oh, thanks MTV for throwing in a token “almost” black guy.

I can see the drama now:

  • “OMG, I need help putting on my bronzer on.  Don’t they have lotion boys on this beach???”
  •  “Bro, what do you mean I can’t do shots on the beach?  Don’t you know my dad is rich?”
  • “I’m so tired of sweating out here.  Can you tell your dad to buy a…

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Trump Royal Family- do you still believe?

donjr(Disclaimer: I think all politicians are self-serving assholes.  My criticism of the Trump Royal Family is not an endorsement for Obama, the Clinton’s or the Bush family.)

A recent poll shows some historically terrible numbers for Lord Trump.  Now, I’m sure most of the hardcore Trump supporters will scream that this poll is “Fake News.”  But remember, any time a poll fits one of your narratives, it then becomes true.

You can’t have it both ways.  Not all polls and not all media are fake.  Don’t tell me the media sucks and then parrot everything Fox News and Rush Limbaugh reports.  Please, at least attempt to be honest with yourself.tumblr_inline_nzrlbglXpe1qf8pbv_500

I seriously wonder about the following questions:

  • Do you really still believe in Trump? 
  • Do you really still believe that every negative media report is “Fake News”? 
  • Is everything negative really everyone else’s fault?
  • How can Christians support Trump?
  • Are you really this blind?

I have a genuine curiosity as to how anyone can now defend Trump.  I totally get that people were tired of Hillary.  That’s 100% understandable.  Sadly, I even understand how hatred for Hillary led people to vote for Trump.  I say “sadly” because using hatred to justify a vote is pretty fucking sad.

And, I’m still amazed that so many evangelicals voted for a man who seldom exhibits any Chrisitian-like qualities.  (Please help me understand this)

As an objective political observer; I’m tired of hearing about Hillary’s emails, Seth Rich and any other item that has nothing to do with Trump’s current presidency.  Hillary lost, she’s gone and doesn’t fucking matter any more.

Hey Trump Royal Family- stop pointing your fingers at everyone else and take some fucking responsibility for YOUR actions.

Hey Trump Supporters- get your fucking heads out of the sand and learn what objectivity is.  You are starting to look incredibly foolish.

Bradentucky Man & Putin

Bradentucky Man and Putin, a real man’s opinion

BRADENTUCKY MAN

putin-629959Bradentucky Man is a proud American.  No one can say I don’t love my country.  I love America almost as much as I love Bradentucky.

So I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think Putin is playing the Trump family like a fine Russian fiddle.

I can’t believe what I’ve been reading about Don Jr. and his dumfuckery with that meeting.

I guess I understand it a little.  I mean you dangle some fine, Russian hotty in front of him and he bit hard.  But damn, you put it in emails??????trumpjr

Come on man.  Even Bradentucky Man knows you don’t put anything in email that you don’t want people to see.

Shit, that’s why I only use Snapchat.  You take a picture and they disappear forever.  You would be amazed at how many cock-shots I’ve sent with that app.  Can I get a “HELL YEAH?”

But seriously. …

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Back in the USSR……….

donjr(Disclaimer: I think all politicians are self-serving assholes.  Don’t mistake my criticism of the Trump Royal Family as an endorsement for Obama or Hillary.)

Good fucking lord.  Now even more information is coming out about Prince Don Jr. and his “adoption” meeting.  Seriously?  A former Russian Intel officer.

What’s next?  Was Monica Lewinsky under Don Jr’s desk licking his balls while he inquired about “adoption?” Or was he willingly working with a hostile foreign power to help his father become president????

Just read the fucking emails, it’s very specific and very clear.  Shut up with your “fake-news” narrative.  Just shut the fuck up.

I will say though, it is relieving that when Prince Fuck-Boy was explaining himself on Fox News he wasn’t the least bit smug, condescending or arrogant.  Oh wait, never mind, that’s exactly what he was…………. a spoiled, fucking asshole.

I don’t care what party you support, it’s time to wake the fuck up.

Oh shit, my bad.  No one will wake up because this is Duh’Merica.  And this is what Duh’Merica deserves.

 

Smokin’ Sea Cows (the other white meat)

Ever eaten a Manatee??? Bradentucky Man has.

BRADENTUCKY MAN

Snooty, aquarium 2004My daddy always said, “Hey boy, anything tastes good if you smoke it long enough.”  Damn, my daddy was smart.

Like most red-blooded Americans, I love me some barbecue.  Ribs, chicken, pulled pork………… delicious.

But I ain’t the average guy.  I’m BradentuckyMan and I’m resourceful.  I been fishin’ the waters around Bradentucky since before I could walk.  I always notice the Manatees are everywhere.

If you don’t know what a Manatee is, google “sea cow.”
They kind a look like some type a weird dinosaur.  They eat a lot of vegetation and fart a lot.

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