Donald Glover is IMPORTANT

glover620x345When I was a kid, I sat in the back of my parents minivan listening to NWA on my yellow Sony Walkman.  I was a suburban white kid who was mesmerized by “Fuck tha Police.”  I didn’t understand the significance of that song until much later in life.

Fast forward 30 years………

The hip hop/rap genre has become largely insignificant.  The strongest lyrical messages delivered by its current “stars” revolve around money, bitches, drugs and guns.  The genre has become a mumbling mess of disjointed beats accompanied by unimaginative, indolent lyrics.  It has become a caricature of its own stereotypes.

Their main struggle revolves around buying a hotter Lamborghini than the other guy.  It’s truly fucking sad.

Now enter Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino.

Like a beacon of hip hop hope, Gamibno released the most important song/video of the past 30 years…………. This is America.

Every person in America needs to watch this video.  It should be required learning in every school.  Just sit back, watch and know that Glover has a better grasp on the sad realities of America that you are scared to admit.

Donald Glover is IMPORTANT.  He is forcing our society to open its third eye and view America in a very unflattering lens.  An unflattering lens that is crystal clear.

Today, I can only hope that kids are sitting in the back of their parents minivans watching This is America on their cellphones.   And I can only hope that it doesn’t take another 30 years for them to understand its significance.

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Red, White and Boo (a poem)

I see your Katie Perry

And I raise you Beyonce.

What ever happened to real art, like the Fat Boys?

Now, just splendid drivel cascading from the youthful mouth

Texting, sexting, pursed lips and Jersey Shore dreams.

Find China on a map? Fuck You, I’m getting my nails done at 3.

Be careful young ones, the noodles and puppy nuggets are coming to a store near you.

I see your E Hollywood News

And raise you Dancing With the Stars.

Posting every mundane bit of your daily shit for all to see

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace your freaking life away

My eyes, dried and burnt from your “Do you like me?” poll.

Keep your pom poms clean and your cell phone charged.

I see your De-evolution

And go all in with your soul

Shouldn’t be difficult to call my bet

You are another failed demographic, another vapid target market.

Here’s why you shouldn’t vote for Roy Moore

Roy-Moore

Vote for me and my six-shooter…….

Dear Alabamians, today is the day for you to show the entire country exactly how backwards you are.

It’s incredibly difficult to find out whether all the sexual abuse allegations are true, so let’s make it easy.  I want all you Alabama voters to just throw that out the door.  Yep, forget it all together.

Why???  Because Roy Moore’s beliefs/statements are so insane he gives you a plethora of other valid reasons NOT to vote for him.  Read the full article on Politico below:

The 7 most inflammatory things Roy Moore has said

Here’s a quick summary of some of his beliefs:

  1. He believes that Obama was not born in the United States.
  2. He believes that 911 was caused because God was mad at the United States because of gays, sodomy and abortion.
  3. He thinks that the “providential hand of God” put Trump in the White House.

Do you really need any more reason not to vote for Moore?  Most reasonable people understand that Moore is a religious lunatic.  But then again, we are talking about Alabama here.

If I were a betting man, I would bet the house that Moore does win.  If you’ve ever been to Alabama you would fully understand.

Thanks a lot Duh’Merica, we deserve this asshole.

The Kim Jong Un weather machine problem

kimjongAccording to sources very, very close to President Trump, the White House is Deeply concerned about Hurricane Harvey and the recent uptick in bad weather torturing the United States.

About 5 days before Hurricane Harvey made landfall, The Trump administration received a nasty email from North Korea promising massive weather destruction to the United States.

“It has come to our attention that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has created a giant disastrous, American killing weather machine,” said an anonymous White House staffer.

hurricaneThe anonymous White House staffer went on to say, “I mean when you have a Category 500 hurricane like Harvey, who else could have created it?  This is the worst hurricane in the history of weather.  There has already been at least 430 inches of rainfall in the past 12 hours.”

Even more sources close to the President have said that Trump is considering building a giant wall of coal-powered hair dryers to set up along the entire United States coast to keep more bad weather from destroying us.

“We will build a giant wall of those hair-dryer things, that get really hot, really fast that will protect our borders.  Kim Jong Un’s weather machine must be stopped.  These hair-dryers will be coal powered (creating about 250 million new jobs) and will truly make America great again,” said Trump.

He later added that, “Obama’s lack of attention to North Korea for the past eight years is the exact reason why this horrible, horrible weather machine was created.  Oh, and Hillary deleting emails,” said Trump.

We can only hope that our Dear Leader Trump can protect us from Kim Jong Un……… we can only hope.

P.S. We attempted unsuccessfully to attain a quote from Mike Pence regarding the weather machine.  We were told he was unable to speak with our female reporter over the phone due to “promiscuity concerns.”

 

Locked & Loaded- military options on table against Alaska

alaskaAccording to sources close to the White House; military options “on the table” regarding rogue Nation-State Alaska.

Trump tweeted, “we r not ruling out military options until Alaska reconnects to rest of country.”

Three seconds after that tweet, Trump again tweeted on the volatile situation, “doesn’t it seem odd that Alaska is so far from rest of the country? #weirdos”

White House staffers were shockingly caught off guard with our Dear Leader’s latest tweets.

One staffer commented under conditions of anonymous leakage, “At first we were taken aback by the President’s comments.  Then when we researched the issue more closely and realized he was correct……. Alaska IS separated from the rest of the United States.”

Another staffer commented that this has been an ongoing problem created by the Obama administration.  “For eight years, the Alaskan connection issue was seemingly ignored by Obama.  Now we are unfortunately seeing this issue rear it’s ugly head once again.  But don’t worry, Trump has vowed to Make Alaska Connect Again.”

And as this story was going to press our Dear Leader again tweeted, “#fakenews media won’t report on sad,sad,sad #alaskanotconnected story #hannity #foxnews #cnnfake”

Stay tuned for more breaking updates about this story.

Trump is not the problem here

trumpWatching this White House operate has truly been amazing.  Every day some new bull shit surfaces.  Some new reason to be worried, some new statement that makes me scratch my balls, smell my hand and say HMMMMM.

But honestly, Trump is not to blame for this.  We are to blame.  Duh’Merica is the problem here.  It doesn’t matter who sits in the big chair, the people of Duh’Merica, myself included, are the idiots here.

After all, Trump was elected fairly.  So that means more people selected him over any other candidates.  Well done Duh’Merica, well done.

People are so easily manipulated by social media that they can never seem to actually see what is real.  Truth has just become whatever narrative each person chooses to accept.

Like Charles P. Pierce said, “Anything is true if it is said loud enough.”

Well guess what?  Trump was louder than Hillary in every single, fucking way.  And all you Duh’Mericans ate that shit up.

He just keep repeating the same boring Republican mantra over and over and over and over.  And you all bought in with wreck-less fucking abandon.

When he proclaimed he would “lock her up,” all of privileged White-America collectively jizzed their pants.  And now we are left with a 4 year stain that is going to be far worse than what Bill Clinton shot all over Monica’s dress.

We deserve this Duh’Merica, we ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DESERVE THIS.