Did Tony Fuck Angela?

(A while ago I had a gmail blogger account and posted this.  One of my favorite poets,Misti Rainwater-Lites posted a nice comment about it.  Sure it could have been a Misti imposter, but I like to tell myself it was really her.)

I keep asking myself the question………… Did Tony ever fuck Angela? I want to know, I want to know badly. If he did, I think it would have gone  something like this:

Tony approached her right after he finished vacuuming the drapes. She had probably just returned home from a hard day of work at her advertising agency. She was standing by the door teasing her Grayish-streaked hair, almost inviting him to taste her middle-aged grapes.

“Hey Angela, you are looking pretty hot standing there by the door. Why don’t you come a little closer so I can fuck you up the ass,” Tony would quip.

“Oh Tony, you are so boorish, so Italian, so ruggedly…………….. what time is dinner,” Angela would blush and retreat to the kitchen.

Then Mona would enter the room, arm entwined with a an old drunk who resembled Bukowski. Tony and Angela could both smell the sex on her breath as she paraded around the room with the misguided confidence only shared by Blanche from the Golden Girls. Continue reading

Million Hipster March-a new Trump protest

After Jude’s terrible week dealing with being berated by President Trump, Clemmy finally reached out to him. She texted- “Jude, I think I have all of our problems solved, sending u an email now, dearest Clemmy.” Jude finally had a light at the end of the tunnel. He opened the email on his phone immediately: […]

via Million Hipster March (screw Trump) — HipsterStories

Trump replies to a hipster

Dear Hipster Schmuck, Believe it or not, I did read your letter. Well, I had someone read it to me. And I have a few things to tell you. Thanks for not voting for me. I didn’t need your sorry, smelly Hipster vote. You are exactly what’s wrong with this country. You are a perfect […]

via Trump replies to a hipster — HipsterStories

a hipster takes down Trump

Dear Mr. Trump, I’ve sat idly and watched as you have reached out to members of the community; white people, black people, Democrats and Republicans. It deeply saddens me that you have overlooked a significant part of the population who suffers from an extraordinary amount of discrimination. Hipsters. Yes, I repeat……….HIPSTERS. I guess you have […]

via A hipster’s letter to Trump — HipsterStories

A hipster’s letter to Kayne

(Jude writes a mini-column and submits it to his editor at the Hip Page) Dear Kayne, You have really done it now Kayne. When you “fake” interrupted Beck’s acceptance speech at the Grammy’s, you did something that you probably didn’t realize. You stepped, I mean, hurdled over the Hipster Line. Beck has been a stalwart […]

via Jude’s letter to Kayne — HipsterStories

A hipster’s letter to white America

(Scene: Jude writes a letter to White America, hoping the Hip Page will print it now since he is an employee) Dear White America, Although I am white, I KNOW what discrimination is. I KNOW what racism is. I feel terrible for all those poor African-American men who have been murdered by the police. I […]

via jude “can’t breathe” an open letter to white america — HipsterStories

Why American Sniper didn’t win

Dear Hip Pages, (in response to Why American Sniper Didn’t Win) I was recently saddened to see that you have let a hipster infiltrate your movie review department. I thought a news organization was supposed to present both sides of a story?? How can you let a smelly, bearded, never bathing Hipster comment on movies […]

via Billy Emo Strikes Again — HipsterStories