Defending Your Beliefs

UnknownI saw this at the grocery store the other day and yes, it made me think.  I know I should just ignore the Duck family, but I just can’t.  The way people react to them is amazing to me.

I absolutely support the right for every American to believe in whatever they want.  I think that’s one beautiful aspect of being an American.

“You’ve gotta respect everyone’s beliefs.” No, you don’t. That’s what gets us in trouble. Look, you have to acknowledge everyone’s beliefs, and then you have to reserve the right to go: “That is fucking stupid. Are you kidding me?” I acknowledge that you believe that, that’s great, but I’m not going to respect it. I have an uncle that believes he saw Sasquatch. We do not believe him, nor do we respect him!” Patton Oswalt

But with that freedom also comes the freedom for people to comment on others beliefs.If you hold a belief that is controversial in any way, you should be prepared for others to comment about your belief.

Especially if you are a public figure capitalizing on your image and your beliefs.

Especially if you hold a belief that is rooted in the Old Testament of the Bible.

With the constant pressure of political correctness, we often lose sight of what is real and what is fantasy due to a fear of offending others.

I’m beginning to agree somewhat with Patton Oswalt’s quote above.  What happens when a person’s beliefs are absolutely asinine or wholly unbelievable? Continue reading

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When Life Changes

“Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.” Kurt Vonnegut

I realized the other night just how much my life has changed in the past few years.
I’ve always been a sports fan and the College Football National Championship was on the other night.

Juan-Pablo-Bachelor-Contestants-PicturesI fully planned on watching the game rather than anything else that night.

But after about five minutes I realized that my wife and three daughters had coaxed me into watching the Bachelor premiere.

So, instead of watching sports, I was suddenly playing a game of “pick which hooker we want to get the rose.”  It was at this point that I realized my life had drastically changed. Continue reading

The Selfie Generation

selfieI feel lucky to have been a teenager in the 90’s when social media was actually having to converse face to face with people.  I have teen-aged daughters and I’m watching this FacebookInstaChatSnapGram live from the front row.

And I have to say I feel sympathy for them.  My wife and I do an excellent job of monitoring their social media and we remain steadfast in being proactive with their lives.  But damn, this shit is amazing.

I can only imagine how my life would have been different if I had today’s technology while I was in high school:

*Every time I drank a beer, smoked some weed or said something shitty about someone, it would be right out on front street. 

*It was so much easier to be able to just talk behind peoples’ backs without fear of being recorded. 

*It was so much easier to pass out drunk without having to worry about becoming the next Vine video of a drunk asshole with dicks drawn on his cheeks in permanent marker. 

*It was so much easier to egg someone’s house and root their yard up without fear of it being taped by Verizon home security cameras. 

*It was so much easier to tell my parents I was going to my friend Tom’s house even though I was meeting a girl for sex and not have to worry about an app on my cell phone telling them exactly where I was. 

*It was so much easier to apply for a job and not worry that the prospective employer already knew everything about me that I was trying to hide.

I think what saddens me the most is that as we become more technologically advanced we seem to become lazier, less intelligent and desensitized to everything that damages us.

Maybe I will post that last thought on Facebook and see how many “likes” I can get.

duck dynasty rednecks (duh’merica rises again)

Duck Dynasty stars 660 APThanks a lot Duck Dynasty for bringing Leviticus back.  I’m still amazed that people are shocked that a Christian redneck made some disparaging comments about gay people.

I’m even more amazed that so many people care about some bearded rednecks who wear a lot of camo and make duck shit.

I’m the first person to defend a person’s right of free speech.  But what I think is important is to examine exactly what inspired his comments. 

Without much investigation, I think it’s safe to say that the Duck Father has a problem with homosexuals because of his Christian faith and fervent belief in the book of Leviticus.

“If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable.  They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” Leviticus 20:13 (NIV)

Isn’t it about time that people understand that there is some crazy shit in the bible, some especially crazy shit in the old testament?

Here’s another verse from the same book:

“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buys slaves.” Leviticus 25:44 (NIV)

Why is it that so many Christians point to one verse of the bible to justify their bigotry against gay people and then forget about all the other verses concerning  things like slavery, like female submission, etc. Continue reading

Dear Kayne (I’m also bound)

kayneDear Kayne,

Bound- something that limits or restrains (as defined by Merriam Webster’s online dictionary)

When it comes to you, the definition of bound feels incredibly real for me.  When I watched your video, I felt:

bound by the laws of gravity when I wanted to fly as far away from this planet as possible.

bound by the concept of restraint when I wanted to heave my computer screen into the ocean so no one in my home could ever watch that video again.

bound by the limits of fear while I cringed thinking about all the little boys and girls who want to be like you and Kim

bound by the reality that you weren’t the first hip hop dude to fuck Kim on video, that must absolutely kill you

I watched your interview on Ellen and was at first mildly impressed until you went all Kayne and shit and started babbling about how great you were.  I don’t care how many Grammy’s you have.

You know who else won a Grammy?: The Baha Men, Milli Vanilli and Christopher Cross won best album over Pink Floyd’s The Wall in 1981.  Even you would have to admit that the Grammy’s are a bit flawed.

If there is any doubt about your character and inflated view of yourself, here are a couple of quotes that came from your mouth:

“I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.” (from www.brainyquote.com)

“I am God’s vessel.  But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” (from www.brainyquote.com)

I’m pretty sure you just redefined the word “DOUCHE BAG”.  Kayne, you are yet another reason why China will win.

Here’s a link to Kayne’s new masterpiece: THE VIDEO FROM HELL

And here’s the hilarious parody video by James Franco and Seth Rogen: SO BRILLIANT

Duh’Merica (the creepy uncle)

Duh’Merica, You have disturbed my pleasant dreams and filled my head with Kardashians, Honey Boo-Boos and extra large french-fry commercials

Duh’Merica, You continue to produce generations of young fools who would rather take pictures of their cocks and tits then read a book about the history they are about to repeat

Duh’Merica, You continue to bomb dark-skinned people far from your shores in the hopes of distracting your masses from what is real……………and the distraction continues to succeed

Duh’Merica, You pound your chest under the false guise of patriotism while removing all hope of an intelligent, rational discussion regarding anything of social importance

Duh’Merica, Your masses continue to believe in a magician in the clouds while always discounting your opposable thumbs

Duh’Merica, You never fail to grip me with the tight fingers of the old, creepy uncle, sitting in the corner at the family reunion making everyone uncomfortable……… and always doing it with a smile.

 

Because Tits are More Marketable

Pink-Ribbon-by-Amiel-WeisblumDear Susan G. Komen,

As I bend over, please kiss my pasty, white ass.  You suck and you suck hard.

From,

A Concerned Citizen (who understands the power of marketing)

* In 2009, breast cancer killed 40,467 women while heart disease killed 292,188 in America (from Forbes online 7/29/13 by Marijke Vroomen Durning)

* More women die from heart disease than the next four causes of death combined, this includes all forms of cancer (USA Today online by Mary Brophy Marcus)

* 1 in 3 U.S. women die of heart disease, compared to 1 in 30 women who die from breast cancer (USA Today online by Mary Brophy Marcus)

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.  Then why is everything so fucking pink these days?

I can’t turn on the radio, the television, or walk around my community without a constant barrage of “Save the Ta Ta’s” jiggling in my face.

Holy shit people are stupid.  The statistics are staggering in relation to heart disease in comparison to breast cancer.  Absolutely staggering. Continue reading