Dancing Al Roker (the lost milf)

Pain-pill-addiction-Top-10-signs-and-symptoms2her main job for the day is to take the kids to and from school.  They are older now so the task has become considerably easier. Their Iphones have the alarm clocks now and they no longer care for breakfast.

“The bus leaves in 10 minutes,” she warns them each morning.

her bus is an extended Chevy Suburban with those cute stickers on the back window that helps everyone understand exactly how many kids and pets she has now.  The windows are tinted as dark black as legally possible so no one can see her face absent of make up that earlier in the morning.  The crows feet are deeper now and the dark circles widen with each year.

after dropping them off, kisses blown and back to the house.  Once inside, time for the magical breakfast 5-4-3 cocktail……..5 grapes followed by 4 crushed and snorted Oxy’s followed by a glass of water with 3 lemon slices………….ah, let the numb morning begin.

so much easier to watch the Today show with that “sink into the couch” feeling, damn, Al Roker looks like a little, black, talking prune……..pointing at colorful maps of clouds, rain, snow and bright, smiling suns……….easy, the maps move so fast, so colorful, so fast.

she thinks Al’s dancing again just like he does every morning, “Now here’s what’s happening in your neck of the woods.”  She tries to imagine what her neck and the woods have in common.  “That phrase is so strange,” she thinks as she continually scratches that same place under her chin that she paws at each morning as Al continues to dance.  Thankfully, plenty of turtlenecks in the drawer by the bed.

the couch feels so good, so good that it’s already lunchtime.  Al danced off the screen hours ago, but she doesn’t remember and she doesn’t care.

finding the energy, she pulls her body into the kitchen knowing that she should probably eat something, she opens the fridge and stares, returns to the couch, sinking like an anchor all the way to the bottom

an odd sound grips her ears, slow pulsing guitar chords bend back and forth, back and forth, she realizes it’s her cell phone again and not Al’s dancing music…………

a message, she amazingly finds the voice mail button……

“Hello Mrs. So and So, we were wondering why you didn’t show up at your son’s teacher conference this morning. He said you promised to make it this time. We hope everything is alright,” says the message voice.

No worries, everything is wonderful.  Time for the 5-4-3 lunch.

Rinse and repeat

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