So Timmy Tebow, aka “Baby Jesus,” is going to become a Major League baseball player. Holy fuck the arrogance and misguided confidence of this kid.
It just never stops. But then again, when you have the Almighty Lord on your side you can do anything right???
Uh………………..no you can’t.
I don’t pray, but if I did, I would be praying for Tim Tebow to go the fuck away. Ok, he was an absolute success in college football and was one of the best college football players that ever played.
But that did not translate into him becoming a good NFL quarterback. As a matter of fact, he was a terrible NFL QB and the numbers don’t lie. That is the sole reason why he is not in the NFL.
Hey white evangelicals, shut the fuck up, it has nothing to do with Tebow being an annoying visible Christian. It’s because he sucked as a NFL quarterback.
Fast forward a few years after no NFL teams wanted him…………….
Timmy- “Dear Lord Almighty. I just don’t understand why no NFL teams want me anymore. I’m a winner. I’m pray harder than anyone. I think all gay people should burn in eternal hell. I mean, what gives here man.”
God– “Well Timmy my son, the NFL is full of heathens destined for the pits of hell. But now the other day, I was listening to some prayers for the New York Yankees management. They prayed to me that if I was able to get A-Rod to retire, they would give you a tryout. Yes my son, you should become a MLB player. Show all your doubters the true light my son.”
Thanks a lot Duh’Merica for creating this monster. Thanks a lot for enabling millions of pasty, white Fox News honks another reason to jerk off when they see Timmy in the news again.
This has just become one gigantic, Caucasian circle jerk. And the collective jizz is splattering the foreheads of all the innocent people who are capable of a rational thought process. The same people who realize this is total Bull Shit.