Tebow prays and guy still dies

tebow

Duh’Merica has struck again and with ridiculous precision.  So, the all American, white christian, ex-crappy NFL quarterback Tim Tebow did something amazing the other day.

Something so amazing that the Duh’Merican media collectively shit and jizzed in their pants simultaneously.

What did he do you ask????  Well, a man on his flight suffered a heart attack and Timmy (Baby Jesus), gathered several people on the plane and prayed.  Yes, he led a prayer session.

The media went absolutely apeshit while millions of Duh’Mericans nodded their heads in appreciative unison.

“Tim Tebow is the greatest man since Jesus himself.  He prayed on a plane with some strangers.  I still can’t believe no NFL team will sign him,” said Clyde from Missouri.

Tim Tebow Leads Passengers in Prayer as Man on Flight Suffers Heart Attack

Now you are probably wondering exactly what happened to the poor heart attack man.  Well, he was resuscitated by a man on the flight other than Timmy Prayer boy, but you will have to look at the bottom of every story to find that nugget.

Maybe the media should have a least given a shout out to the guy who actually did something tangible…… like trying to save a life with CPR.

Sadly, the heart attack man later died at the hospital.  So really, Timmy Terrible NFL Quarterback actually didn’t do shit.  Apparently he didn’t pray hard enough, because his God decided it was time for the heart attack man to leave Earth.

And even more sadly, the Duh’Merican media lost their collective heads because a white dude prayed with some people on a plane.

What a fucking joke.  Maybe one day Duh’Mericans will be able to stop drooling over a bad NFL quarterback who still hasn’t ejaculated yet.  Maybe all the backed up semen in his body interfered with the prayer getting through to God.

Cheers

 

 

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