(I used to work out in a local gym and that is where the inspiration came from for this post.)
Hey 20 year-old bench press guy… thanks so much for grunting so loud that everyone in the place thought you were passing several golf ball sized kidney stones.
We were all wondering if you would get that last rep. And by the way, when you are laying on the bench, make sure you put your dick to the side instead of it standing straight up like a mini-sprinkler. Unless of course that’s your best pick up move.
Hey “I’m a Cougar Hear Me Roar” Mom… doing lunges across the middle of the gym.
I know, your husband is most likely fucking his much younger, much hotter than you secretary and it’s time for you tone up that ass.
And what’s the deal with the fully done “it must be ladies night” makeup and perfume you are wearing.
Come on now, stop trying to fill your desperate need for attention with the 20 year-old bench presser above.
All he’s going to do is push your face in the pillow and fuck you very awkwardly. He doesn’t care that you are experienced. He just wants a story to tell his boys later at the bar.
Hey Mr. Abs of Steel guy… doing all the crunches in the corner…. You know, your abs are impressive and you should be proud of them, but do you really have to stand in front of the mirror after every set, pull up your shirt and stare at them?
Being proud and being a bragging asshole are two very different things. Myself, I’m quite the eater, but you don’t see me going to the local Chinese buffet and counting my used plates in front of the all the other fat asses.
How about showing some fucking class dickhead.
Hey older than hell guy on the treadmill… Although you can’t hear it yourself, everyone around you can hear your ass leaking with each stride you take.
And stop staring at all the young, hot pieces of ass on the StairMaster. They think you are creepy.
And did I mention that your ass is leaking out loud????
Hey local gym….. thanks for providing me with so much entertainment. I hope I’m the only one watching and writing about this on a blog.
I can only imagine what someone might be writing about me. HA.