Habitual Masturbator (a confession)

doc-76818Would anyone like to share today?  Hello, my name is Tommy. (Hello Tommy, said the 20 people gathered in chairs in the small room at the back of the church.)  And I’ve been an addict for 25 years now. (loud congratulatory clapping, of hands)

I never thought I would have the courage to come to a meeting, but the other day I knew it was time.
I woke up on Saturday morning and it was just like any other Saturday.  But this time, I wanted the weekend to be different.  Instead of sliding my hand down over my new, Hanes boxer briefs and gently caressing the head of my penis, I jumped out of bed and got into the shower.

It was difficult because I knew how lonely Mr. Spickles (the name of my dick) is when I first wake up.  He always enjoys a good morning tug.

I turned the water on and left it as cold as possible.  I didn’t want the hot water to help elongate Mr. Spickles, I was trying so hard (no pun intended) to not jerk-off.  I grabbed my Pantene shampoo and immediately thought about those old commercials with Daisy Fuentes.

Oh shit, suddenly the shampoo turned into Daisy and she was blowing me kisses and rubbing her hand across her breasts.  Holy fuck, this is going to be difficult.

“Fight the temptation.  Picture Daisy sitting on the toilet having diarrhea, wiping her ass, and then inspecting to the toilet paper,” said the good angel on my left shoulder.

Shit, I tried that but somehow I was still getting erect.  Even while shitting, Daisy is incredibly hot. I actually thought about helping her wipe and Mr. Spickles was still growing.

“Just do it.  Reach down and grab my head and start whacking away.  Oh Daisy, touch those nipples, flip that hair, bend over and touch your toes while rinsing the Pantene out of your hair,” said Mr. Spickles.  Sadly, my dick talks to me all the time.

I just rinsed off as quickly as possible and started to dry off.  I began drying my hair first and then worked down towards my waist.  Oh shit, there was Mr.Spickles smiling teasingly at me as I started drying his head.

Holy fuck it felt good.  If felt so good I kept telling myself that he needed to be dried longer because he was extra wet even though I knew that was a lie.

I kept drying him, back and forth, forth and back, back and forth.  Then Daisy was suddenly whispering in my ear. “You forgot to use your conditioner, you silly hunk,” she said in that sexy Latina voice.

I tried to remind her that it was a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner but that didn’t work at all.  She was still there and now she was guiding my hand back and forth, saying hello repeatedly to Mr. Spickles.

I couldn’t take it any more.  I jerked Mr. Spickles so hard I thought I was going to pull him off my body.  By this time, Daisy was in the corner of my shower playing with herself and blowing me kisses.

BAM- all over the place.  It was a magical ejaculation, it was everywhere.  I felt a relief like none other.

This is when I knew I had to come (no pun intended again) to a meeting.  I don’t want to be like this.

As I sat down in my chair, I thanked them for not judging me.  A couple of people clapped, but not nearly as enthusiastically and loudly as when I introduced myself.

An attractive  looking woman walked towards me and began to whisper in my ear.  I was suddenly nervous and wondered if I would be able to stop Mr. Spickles from another session.

In a lovely voice she said, “Tommy, this is an Over-eaters Anonymous meeting.  The Habitual Masturbator group meets tomorrow night.”

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