The Worst Sex-Ed Story Ever

(I’m reposting this because of the good response to my male hygiene post, enjoy.)

When I was about 12 years old, I discovered one of my dad’s Playboy magazines in his bathroom.  Two days later this is what transpired:

My dad was 6′ 1″ and weighed about 350 pounds.  It was close to dark and I was outside playing basketball in my driveway.

My dad walked outside and he was wearing a black Adidas jogging suit, (much like what Run DMC used to wear).

He asked me to “go for a jog.”  My dad was gigantic and obese, so I knew something was up.

At the end of our driveway, we started jogging.  We made it to the second house down my street and my dad said, “Son, what do you know about sex?”

I remember being mortified and said, “You put your dick in a girl’s pussy and then you have a baby.” 

My dad said, “Yep, that’s it.  If you have any questions, just let me know and don’t get a girl pregnant.”

I shit you not, that’s a true story and exactly how the conversation went.

Needless to say, but I’ve never had much of a vocal relationship with my dad, especially about anything important.

Fortunately though, Hustler, Penthouse and Juggs magazines were always there for me.


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