Oscar Lives Matter

chrisrockOh the pageantry. Oh the expensive dresses and suits. Oh the fake outrage concerning a Hollywood awards event.

Here are some reasons why this is a bull shit story and why Duh’Merica loves it:

*Award Shows are shit– They mean absolutely nothing. We are still going to watch and not watch movies regardless of who wins the awards.

*Hollywood Elite– it’s primarily a showcase of the wealth 99% of regular people will never attain and the obscene vanity that same 99% wished they could attain.

*Red Carpet Crapper– the pre-show is a two-hour slobber fest of hack television personalities commenting on what the “stars” are wearing.

Nothing smells better than Duh’Merica fawning over what type of dress or suit some actor is wearing. Brilliant.

*Racism– Who gives a shit? There are so many other more important issues for us to worry about. When the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and his wife boycott the Oscars because of diversity, all of our problems will be solved. All the homeless and all the starving children in our country will breathe a collective sigh of relief as they forage through another dumpster looking for pizza crust.

Oscar Lives Matter– actually, they don’t. The only way to save this shit show is to have Ricky Gervais replace Chris Rock as the host and do the entire show in black face. Now that would be fucking brilliant.

Thanks a lot Duh’Merica, China wins again.

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