The Best Dream Ever

It starts with me walking down a poorly lit hallway with several doors on each side, some cracked open and some closed.  I want to look in each door, but something is making me nervous to look.  But I look anyway.

The first door is numbered 666 and I open it.  There is a huge bed in the middle of the room and I see Rush Limbaugh dressed like a catholic school girl and he has black mascara dripping down his bulbous cheeks like he’s been crying.  He looks at me with his God-Fearing eyes and points to the corner.

In the corner there are two Filipino adult midgets tied together with ball-gags in their mouths, smiling and sitting on top of a very worn out Twister board.

Then out of the closet, Justin Beiber runs out dressed in a lederhosen t-back carrying a crystal magic wand.  He flips his hair, points the wand at Rush and says, “Lady-Boy Alive.”  Immediately Rush grows HHH titties and starts giggling like he’s on laughing gas.

He gets down on all fours on the edge of the bed and Justin mounts him and starts riding him like a donkey.  Rush squeals and Justin just keeps flipping his hair.  Then Usher appears with a video camera and starts taping the whole thing and tells me he’s going to put it on You Tube.

I’m starting to feel a little weird about everything so I try to help the Filipino midgets get untied.

They start blowing me kisses, so I run out of the room and slam the door shut.  At the end of the hallway I see my 5th grade teacher standing next to a urinal and she says, “I told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything.”  I wake up and realized I pissed myself, again.

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8 thoughts on “The Best Dream Ever

  1. So happy I opened this while drinking coffee 🙂 Brilliant…..slightly frightening….but I like it. The HHH titties was fucking hilarious.

  2. @sediment: thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I think what I like best about it is that I can really see Rush doing something like that.

    • Oh absolutely……he’s capable of pretty much anything that even sarcastic witty folk like us would likely find disturbing 🙂 That photo will give me nightmares for at least two nights.

  3. Pingback: Saturday Stuff… or… Been flying on daytime cold medicine and a prayer « Words and Stuff by MrTinney

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