So I wasn’t surprised when a man was arrested for having sex with his pit bull the other day.
Now, this is obviously a terrible, terrible story. Even though it’s terrible, I’m going to approach it from a different angle. I would like to analyze this story in the same manner I think many white, republican men may view it.
The Republican thought process:
“Yeah, but what was the pit bull wearing? I mean shit, you can’t be a female dog, wearing those fuck me boots and not expect a man to want to get some booty. She was probably asking for it. That poor guy couldn’t help himself.”
“How dare that dog go out in the backyard prancing around and flirting so heavily with its owner. I mean hell, who wouldn’t bang that bitch?”
“That bitch is his property. It says so in the Bible. He can do with her as he pleases.”