(I’m re-posting this for my new friends who may have missed it, enjoy)
Medicated Powder. I don’t know about you, but I am always cognizant of maintaining my male hygiene.
It’s something my father taught me when I was child. “Son, there is nothing worse than a guy with a stinky crotch,” he used to tell me.
When I was about 12 years old, while most fathers were teaching their young boys about sex education, my father took me to Walgreens to introduce me to my first medicated powder. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
We walked into the store and headed directly to the back where all the powders were kept next to the Vaseline, lubricants and condoms. (back then, condoms weren’t locked up)
The pharmacist asked my father if we needed any help. “No thanks buddy, just buying my son some crotch powder. He’s about that age now,” he said with a proud smile. I looked straight down and wanted to jump off a bridge.
I didn’t want anyone to think that I had a smelly crotch. I was praying that I didn’t see anyone from my school in the store. It was one thing to be the shy kid or the new kid at school; but the kid with the smelly crotch, that would surely lead to me becoming a serial killer one day.
He grabbed a bottle of white, Ammens Medicated Powder from the shelf and headed triumphantly towards the register. He paid with cash and we were on our way home. Thankfully, I didn’t see anyone I knew and was safe from external embarrassment. While driving home, my father explained to me that I needed to put the powder on every morning before I went to school.
“Every day, you wake up, brush your teeth and powder your boys,” he said. “My boys?,” I thought to myself. My father was talking to me about powdering my testicles. Wow, what a night.
I didn’t understand the necessity for this powder and I was really confused. Had one of my teachers called to inform my parents that my classmates were complaining that I had a smelly crotch? I asked my father what the big deal was. He told me that one day I would thank him and winked at me like there was some incredible prize waiting for me at the end of a medicated powder rainbow.
The mystery lingered in my brain, not my pants, for many years until I began dating. Then it all made sense to me. It was good to have a “fresh” crotch.
I learned this on the night I made sweet love for the first time on the beach under the stars. Yes, that’s true, my first time was on a beach, under the stars. But, I wouldn’t exactly call it “making sweet love.” It was more like 8 seconds of heaven………………for me. But I will say that I had no worries of having a smelly crotch. Thanks dad.
About 20 years later I noticed my 8 year-old son digging in his crotch one day at the house. I asked him what the problem was.
He said, “my balls stick to my skin sometimes dad.” I smiled, took him into the bathroom and introduced him to a bottle of Ammens Medicated Powder just like the one my father gave to me.
I told him that when he gets a little older I will let him step it up a notch and use the Gold Bond Medicated Powder that I use. It burns a little more and I don’t think his juvenile skin is ready for it yet. It’s very important to maintain medicated powder responsibility.
I smiled again and told him that he would thank me one day and one day he would understand.
That’s right, all the men in my family will never be known as “that guy with the smelly crotch.“