There are times when I feel as if something just isn’t right.  I can’t fully explain the feeling nor do I understand where it comes from.

Like the other day for example, I was sitting in a restaurant by myself waiting to order.

The restaurant was filled with the normal noises one would expect; music, dishes clanging, cell phones ringing, doors opening and closing, but for a moment everything was eerily quiet inside my head.

I looked at my waitress helping another table and I could feel that she didn’t want to be there.

I could sense that she was probably only there because her third of the rent was coming due and she was tired of Taco Bell dinners.

I wondered if she had some better dream or aspiration that was somehow slipping away.

The people she was helping appeared to be a couple.

The man was totally disinterested in what the woman was saying while she spoke loudly and gestured frequently with her hands to tell her stories.  I could almost feel her need for attention and I could feel his inability to grant her that wish.

Sometimes I wish that I could wear blinders and not notice all the bull shit surrounding me.  Sometimes I wonder why I even care.


3 thoughts on “Disconnected

  1. I’m the same way. The past year I been researching to find out why I feel so “disconnected” and all my symptoms seem to relate to some form of ADHD or something related.

    Although it would be nice to not care about the stuff that I don’t care about (Like making correlations while I’m driving between a license plate I am looking at and one I saw earlier in the week) I learn to think of it as more of a gift.

  2. Well, I submit you care because you’re human, and because you’re not asleep. There is a lot of bullshit out there, but as you pointed out in your post, there’s also a lot of “not listening” going on out there (maybe as a result of all the bullshit). People feel disconnected because increasingly they ARE disconnected. In days of yore, social connections were a lot more than about getting a job (although they certainly were that)–they were in many cases financial support, entertainment, potential mates, etc.

    Technology is wonderful, and I’m not going to bash it to make a point, but we’ve (and I’m very much guilty of this) allowed it to eclipse some of those functions that once only another person could perform (e.g., internet porn).

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