A Trip to Disney World (Ethnic Observations)

disneyworldI was born and raised in Florida and I’ve been to Disney World more times than I can count.  My wife and I took our four kids this past weekend to Disney for their Christmas present. 

They are getting older now, so this will probably be the “last hooray” for dropping a lot of cash into the Disney family wallet.

I will save you the boring details of what parks we visited and what we did, but I would like to share with you several things I learned on this trip:

Terrible Kid Name– While in a petting zoo, I heard a father calling for his son and his son’s name was Maximus.  Holy shit dad, way to name your son after the Gladiator.  Good thing he won’t have any pressure growing up trying to be the baddest fucking gladiator on the planet.  Why don’t you just buy him a crack pipe now.

South Americans are smelly and rude(remember that my sample size of this theory is only from South Americans at Disney) Every time I see someone holding a Brazilian flag waiting outside a ride, I run.  They rarely wear deodorant, they will run your ass over if you are in their way and they have no concept of personal space.  And most South American women, regardless of size, wear pants that are entirely too tight.

Asians– they are the most polite ethnic group and have the best cameras and video equipment.  Their wardrobe is always a bit eccentric, but usually well kept.  The exception is the Asian youth; they usually wear some of the oddest fucking clothes I’ve seen, gigantic hats and lots of strange neons.

Rednecks– very similar on the rudeness scale as the South Americans, they almost always chew on those insanely huge turkey legs, they are too cheap to buy the Fast Pass tickets and they always wear some clothing that boasts the fact that they like to kill animals

The British- there are always tons of Brits at Disney. They are always extremely pale, a lot of bad tattoos, of course bad teeth and they always look sunburned and like they are about to die from the heat.  They mumble when they speak and are usually looking for beer. 

The Blacks– sorry, there aren’t that many blacks at Disney, I think they may be afraid of giant mice.  The ones that are there are usually dressed ghetto with low hanging pants and they are always hitting on the Latin women with the big asses.  Sorry, that’s just how it is.

The Whites– usually overdressed for an amusement park, the moms look annoyed with their rich, bratty children because the husbands are sitting on a bench checking sports news on their IPhones and not helping at all.  They are usually in a gift store trying to buy something to shut the kids up.  They usually always have Fast Passes because they are too good to wait in line with the lower class people.

In Conclusion:

Disney is a melting pot of cultural trash that is incredibly interesting.  I’m not going to apologize for anything written above, that’s just the way I see it.  If you don’t agree, just go to Disney one day and you will understand.




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