I’m a fairly large-sized man. I’m 5’11”, 235 pounds, work out a lot and I’m fairly intimidating looking.
My bald head and goatee generally give people the impression that I ride a Harley.
(in reality, I’m terrified of motorcycles and can barely drive a stick shift)
Well, fairly intimidating until I realized how often I “hashtag” things on twitter; #gay #thebachelor #poetry #honeybooboo #housewivesofbeverlyhills, etc.
I actually had to look down below my belly button to make sure I still had my testicles.
They were there, but they do look much more wrinkled than usual and seem to be hanging lower than I remembered. #oldmanballs #uncomfortablegymshower
I wake up every day and think about how amazing technology is now as compared to when I was growing up. #soundinglikemyparents #discoveringemail
I mean shit, the world is sitting inside my laptop on a continuous loop. All I have to do is open it and watch the daily parade of mind numbing headlines crawling into my brain. #lazyamerican
I used to laugh at my children with their incessant need for social media and here I am following suit. #instagraming #snapchatting #facebooking #tumbling
I now wonder what my life will be 10 years from now. I can only fucking imagine. #jetsons #flyingcars #cloningmyself
Hello, my name is Duh’Merican and I have a problem- I’m HASHTAGGING MY LIFE AWAY. Please help.