(I’m reposting this because it’s one of my favorites and I think I’ve lost some viewers since I changed the name of my blog)
One of the most important things in our everyday lives is going to the bathroom. Amazingly, this is something that most people neglect and take for granted. So, I wrote this post to help inform others on how to go to the bathroom effectively. (this applies to men and women)
When To Go Tinkle?
Well, normally you will feel a tickling sensation or pressure in your bladder area.
This can range from a subtle nudging feeling to a downright burning, “OMG, it’s time to go” feeling. The OMG feeling is usually present while drinking at bars.
When you experience these feelings, it’s time to navigate to the nearest bathroom. Be sure to find the appropriate bathroom with the designated sign for your specified sex.
If you accidentally go into the wrong bathroom, this could become very problematic. Be sure to understand how to identify your gender, I cannot stress this enough.
Enter the bathroom and then proceed to the toilet area (for women) or the urinal (for men).
Make sure to close the stall door, spread copious amounts of toilet paper on the top of the toilet seat, then proceed with urination.
When finished, wipe accordingly, check toilet seat to make sure you didn’t leave any stray “debris“ and flush. Then exit the stall, and wash your hands in the sink. Please refrain from passing gas at any time in the bathroom.
There could be another women in there with you who is jealous of your beauty and she may proceed to tell all the men around about your “gas“ issues. Only pass gas on crowded dance floors or in a very loud area of the bar.
Follow the first steps above about gender identification and then proceed to the urinal.
Please, pull out your “business“, begin urinating and look straight ahead. Do not, no matter how tempted you are, look down at another man urinating next to you.
No one likes a “Cock-Watcher” and that’s a good way to lose teeth (pun intended).
When finished, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS. I’m tired of hearing, “but my dick is cleaner than anything in this bathroom.” That’s just nasty and is not supported by any credible scientific evidence.
Also, I almost forgot, remember to look down to make sure that you haven’t dripped any extra splashes on the front of your pants. Make sure to shake it accordingly before zipping up. Please exit the bathroom and rejoin your friends.
Well, women never do that, so I have no instructions for you.
But for men, this is a different story. If you are going to have to go “Number-2” in public, please be discreet about it.
No one likes a shitter who brags and shows off while in the stall. Everyone knows what you are doing, get over yourself.
And please, do not make any loud moaning noises, this is not necessary unless you are over 65.
Going to the bathroom should be an easy part of your everyday life. Please don’t take it for granted and please wash your hands. Never forget, toilet seats have been proven to carry H.I.V., so always be careful. (I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific fact.)