Fifty Shades of…….I Gave Up

Look, for my wife, I was trying to read Fifty Shades of Grey.  I couldn’t get past page 50.  She implored me to at least make it to the sex parts, but I just couldn’t do it.

I’m a man, I get off on actually seeing the tits and pussy, not imagining it.

I only used my imagination when I first hit puberty and the Sears catalog was all I had at my disposal to jerk off to.  Thankfully, those days are long gone.

I honestly tried, but within those first 50 pages, I think there were at least 30 references to Grey’s “long index finger.”

So, I’m guessing he either has a gigantic dong or the author is playing some sadistic trick.  Either way, I couldn’t stick around to find out.

For me it was boring and smelled suspiciously of a Lifetime Channel movie of the week.

To my wife; I still love you, but I just couldn’t do it.

To all the other women out there like my wife who enjoy the book; have fun with that.  I too can’t wait until some movie producer hijacks the Twilight cast to act out this steamy, fuck-fest for everyone to see on the big screen.  Now that I will watch.

Anyway, I just started reading God’s Lunatics by Michael Largo and it appears to be fascinating.

Just my two cents for the day.



7 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of…….I Gave Up

  1. A friend loaned me her library copy–smart woman who somehow read all three books of this trash trilogy. I took it on vacation to the beach, you know, trashy beach read. Couldn’t do it. After two chapters, Danielle Steel seemed like intelligent writing. Drivel. Dreck. If I wasn’t opposed to littering and the book was mine, I’d have flung it in the ocean. Tell your wife your own fantasies, and you, hers, is my two cents 😉 Thanks for the follow. Look forward to reading more of your work. Peace.

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