Don’t You Hate it When…….

I don’t remember much from elementary school, but I remember my school’s librarian Mr. Watts.  His name even smells of old books.

I liked him and once a week he would gather each class together and let us tell stories by starting with the phrase, “Don’t you hate it when……”  I still think about that to this day, which brings me to some thoughts:

Don’t you hate it when… you turn on the television and a Kardashian is trying to speak, but the words all come out like mindless drivel??

Don’t you hate it when… people use the phrase “In this economy.”??? Suck it up America, despite all our perceived financial ills; most of the people living outside of our country have truly bad lives.  We are fucking spoiled.

Don’t you hate it when… that douche bag at the bar wearing the too-tight Ed Hardy shirt keeps playing Lynryd Skynrd on the jukebox???

Don’t you hate it when… Rush Limbaugh opens his mouth and no one close to him has an over-sized dick to shove in it???

Don’t you hate it when… Justin Beiber has to continually pull his pants up because he’s desperately trying to be a young, black ghetto thug.  (no offense to black ghetto thugs)

Don’t you hate it when… you forget to record the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and are left wondering which bitch’s pussy smells like a five month-old dead animal carcass???

Don’t you hate it when... Al Sharpton only cares about black kids who are killed by non-black kids??? I’ve always valued all kids lives the same, regardless of who shot them.

Don’t you hate it when… you read my blog and are left with an uncomfortable itch between your legs???

I’m not sure if Mr. Watts would be proud of me.  But I do think he would be happy to know that he inspired me to read more, which I do.


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