My Road to Atheism

Being an atheist truly sucks sometimes.  Religion has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life.

I remember hating it when my mother dragged me to church when I was a child.  I remember hating going to confirmation classes when I was child and I remember being so young that I didn’t understand what the hell I was doing there and why I was doing it.

Try being an atheist and inserting yourself in a religious discussion at your workplace, in public or with family members.  It’s not fun.

People look at me like I’m crazy, like I’m insane, like they can’t believe that I don’t believe in God.

The South

My mother was born and raised in southern Georgia.  Her father was a Baptist minister in their small town.  He was also the town postman.  He also barely had a high school education.  He also beat my grandmother, cheated on her with a woman on his mail route who he fathered a child with, my half-aunt.  He also taught me the word “nigger”

He was taking my brother and me fishing, I was about 8, my brother 4.  I was in the front seat of his old VW Bug and I opened the glove box and saw a revolver.

I asked why he had that, he told me it was in case any “niggers” tried to rob us.  Then he pointed to a couple black men standing on the corner.  He praised god every day.

Death

I remember watching my god mother wilt away and die from cancer when I was 12.  She was a beautiful person, she was very wealthy and dedicated all her time to charity and helping those who were less fortunate in her community.

She used to take my brother and me to museums and taught us about culture and compassion.  I prayed for her and watched her die.

I watched her be reduced to a skeletal 80 pounds right before she died.  But now I realize that her dying was just a shit part of life and shit happens even to wonderful people.

Inspiration

While most of my religious experiences growing up were negative, that’s not why I’m an atheist.  I’m an atheist because I believe in reason, I believe in common sense and I don’t believe it’s possible that there is a god.  It doesn’t make sense to me.

I  believe that at this point in time, science offers the most plausible explanations for the creation of the universe.  I believe in the big bang and evolution.  I do not believe that there is a magical man in the sky who pointed his finger and created Earth and Adam and Eve.

And if I’m wrong, then so be it.  If I’m right, so be it. I’m not trying to change anyone, I honestly don’t care what other people believe as long as they don’t bother me.

Maybe I should stop commenting on other writers religious posts because it just annoys me.  Maybe I will stick to just trying to be funny, because that’s my personal defense mechanism for my life anyway.

I believe that when I die, I will be cremated and my remains will be food for the fishes.  End of story.

Hopefully my kids will look back and say I was a good man.  Hopefully my kids won’t spend a lifetime worrying about god like I have.

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4 thoughts on “My Road to Atheism

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post and I admire you even more.

    I too was dragged to church as a child and my only memory is of painting Easter eggs. It also bothers me when people press their religion on me. When I lived in NYC, people preached on the subway all the time, and sometimes they made rude remarks about how certain people were sinned and would rot in hell. This made me incredibly uncomfortable. I’m not religious, but if I were, I would keep it to myself or at least deliver it nicely to people. For instance, a lady once held my hand and told me she was going to keep me in her prayers and wish me and my family good things. I didn’t know her but I was extremely moved that she would do such a nice thing for a complete stranger.

    Anyway, I don’t know where I’m going with my comment…

  2. @emilyhe: thanks for replying and commenting, I appreciate it. It’s amazing how judgmental some religious people can be, even though that’s supposedly not part of any religious standards. I’m very much in support of people believing what they want to believe. For me, that’s atheism. I think the big difference with me is that I understand full well that my views could be absolutely wrong and I’m ok with that.

    @pigeon: YO JOE, Now you know and knowing is half the battle. My little brother had the whole army base when we were kids, I was more into He-Man.

  3. Your right to decide… nicely written and clearly shared. Good for you. When will we see you and MrMary pumping out some work together as promoted? Looking forward to it.

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