Dear Republican Party

Dear Republican Party,

Well, another election has passed with the exact same losing result.

You have officially become that little white trash kid with the annoying rat-tail.  You cut the rat-tail off, but it grows back every four years with the same tired agenda.

Those opposable thumbs you keep staring at are a true sign of the evolution that you can’t seem to embrace.

I know, I know, evolution isn’t real and that guy with the white beard created us in his own image.

So, I guess that means your god is a fat, white, pasty dude who continues to spit in the face of women, minorities and gay people.

I know, I know, homosexuality is a sin according to the book of Leviticus.  

Well guess what else Leviticus says:

  • Death penalty for using the lord’s name in vain,
  • Prohibition against eating pork,
  • Forbidding of beard trimming,
  • Death penalty for adultery, the list goes on.

Oops, I guess you must have forgotten about those items.  I do understand though, it must be difficulty to remember all those bible verses when you spend so much time trying to find viable tax shelters to hide all the income you don’t want to be taxed on. 

Obama won for a second time and this one had to really sting.  I mean shit, the economy has been total dog shit, gas prices are ridiculous, unemployment is crack-head high and you still couldn’t win the election.

I guess it does kind of make sense though.  You seriously thought a Mormon would be your best bet to beat Obama?

Wow, a dude who believes in magic underwear and made millions fucking Americans out of jobs?

Well done Republican Party, well done.  I’m guessing someone must have lost a bet with that appointment.

I can see all the pasty big wigs, sitting at a private club, sipping on aged Scotch talking about who to appoint:

“Oh dear boy, since you lost that bet about how many slaves my grandfather owned, you must now select that silly, non-caffeinated Mormon Mittens to run against YoBama.”

Don’t laugh or scoff, that’s probably exactly how it went down.

Hey Republican Party, maybe it’s time you took a closer look at the country you live in.  America is steadily becoming not so pasty white and is moving towards a lighter shade of brown.

Women, gays and minorities aren’t sitting with their thumbs up their asses anymore.  They have realized that they have a voice and that’s a voice you need to listen to.  The societal climate has changed and you continue to ignore it.

Instead of just trimming the rat-tail for 2016, maybe you should shave the whole head.

If not, the results will probably be the same.














2 thoughts on “Dear Republican Party

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