Dear Mr. Xanax

Thank you so much for finally making your way into my bloodstream. I never realized the depth of your powers until now. As you know, I am a 35 year-old man and I’ve always been far too tough and strong to go to doctors.

Needles scare me. Blood tests scare me. A doctor’s old, frigid hand checking me for a hernia scares me. But, I did it anyway. After 10 years, I did it. I made the appointment and put on the gown.

I sat on the sterile, paper covered table and spoke freely about my symptoms. I let it all out. The nervousness, the pending doom, the not wanting to be around people……. I spewed it all out to the white-coated man like I was a child crying to his mommy for sympathy.

All those years of my heart pounding out of my chest as I stared at the ceiling trying to sleep. All those years of intense worry about situations I couldn’t control. All those years of anxiety that were eating me alive from the inside out. All gone now.

One little orange pill, placed correctly on the middle of my tongue, a splash of water and I tilt my head back. Calm, peace and clarity. You are amazing Mr. Xanax. After our first couple of morning meetings, I was impressed. The doctor was right, you do work quickly.

But easy there Mr. Xanax, don’t get overly excited. I like you a lot and you are helping me through some difficult situations, but I will never grind you up and snort you off the table. Not me. You will never find me wanting you that badly.

You, your friend Mr. Oxycontin and all his cousins have done a bang up job in creating zombies in my state of Florida. But not me. I don’t believe in zombies and never will. If I get near that point, I will do that thing Nicholas Cage did in Leaving Las Vegas. You know, find a hot hooker and drink it up. But not to worry, I have more control than that.

Mr. Xanax, I start our relationship with a big, huge smile. And so far, you are performing swimmingly. Please don’t let me down.

You know Mr. Xanax, there are a lot of men out there who could use a swallow of you. But they are too proud and they are too strong to let anyone know. I’m glad I took the step. You have helped me to finally see the world with clarity. I just hope the clarity doesn’t make it all worse.

Your friend


4 thoughts on “Dear Mr. Xanax

  1. A lot of people are afraid to consult their doctor’s. Scared of learning what the problem is, This is something that must be corrected, because if we are always afraid then we will never know what the problem is.

  2. I take 50mg of Sertraline every morning; 600mg of Sustiva & 600/300mg combo of Epzicom every night. Of course the Sertraline was initiated at 100mg/ day a year ago, but I quit doing everything that was wrong for me. I just can not imagine you being so vulnerable to mental distress…t/y for being so honest. Oh, I wore 3 dabs of pachouli oil today. LoL, they don’t know any better here, and I’ve had the same bottle for over 5 years. It is not used often. Ok, now crack me over the head for my confession, LoL. ST – you’re one of THE most honest people I’ve ever encountered on the internet. That’s what I like best about you, you crazy fucker!

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