The Campaign Adverts you Won’t Hear About…………..

I’m sure I’m not the only who is already nauseated by the Obama and Romney political campaign adverts currently invading our television space. 

It kills me that most people can’t identify that it’s all total BULL SHIT, but then again, the Kardashians are famous so I guess I understand.

If I were a millionaire, I would run adverts like this, just for the fun of it:

FOR OBAMA: In 1994, Mitt Romney was seen scalping children and using the dead skin as the salty ingredient to complete his famous clam chowder recipe.

Later that year, Romney ordered 5,000 DD bras from Victoria’s Secret, filled his bathtub with them, rolled around naked in the tub while singing “We Are the World.”

Do you really trust a man who scalps little children for his clam chowder and frolics naked with bras???? 

Come on America; do you really want to elect a child scalping bra swimmer???  Come on. (paid for by the Obama for America Campaign 2012)

FOR ROMNEY: Hello America, it’s me; The Mitt-Man.  Yes, I’m a disgustingly rich millionaire, but I can relate to you, the regular American.

I eat my foie gras, just like you do; off the backs of Asian hookers at the Four Season penthouse suite.   Do you really want to re-elect a president who I personally watched play a game of naked twister with Jerry Sandusky in the Penn State football locker room showers???? 

The same president who secretly eats grilled cheese sandwiches while male Filipino midgets massage his feet????  At least I pay my Filipino midget masseuses a fair, living wage of $4.25 per hour.

Wow America, if you are willing to re-elect a person who showers with someone who calls himself the “Tickle Monster” and abuses Filipino midgets, I guess this is not the America I believe in.

Come on America, grilled cheese and naked Twister shower games???  What’s next America………… four more years of grilled cheese sandwiches????

I will take the foie gras and hookers.  Vote Romney in 2012.

(I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message, hardcore-style.)

Hey, DUH’America, when will you figure it out?????  All politicians are full of shit and none of them give a shit about you.  Keep watching TMZ and Hoarders while China gets ready to pounce.

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6 thoughts on “The Campaign Adverts you Won’t Hear About…………..

    • Mandatory sterilization would be a start. In the meantime, send all the people in America who aspire to be the Kardashians or think reality television is real to Madagascar and never let them come back.

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