Hey North Carolina,

So how does it feel to be in the spotlight because of a crazy, ass, white-trash preacher who thinks gays should be eliminated from the planet?

No worries, I get it, you have to follow your Bible that says homosexuality is an abomination and punishable by death.

I’m always impressed with people who hold a belief and remain steadfast in those beliefs.  Commitment is a wonderful, godly attribute.

But the hold the phone here, I just read a study that says North Carolina is 14th most obese state in the nation with 29.4% of its adults being considered obese.

OOOPS, it appears hypocrisy has reared its ugly head once again in the deep, deep south.

“He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.” Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”

Oh shit, you do realize that comes from the same Bible that condemns gay people, right?

And how about adultery; “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Make no mistake about it: those who lead immoral lives, or worship idols, or who are adulterers, homosexuals of any kind, or thieves, exploiters, drunkards, gossips or embezzlers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Oh shit, sin is starting to get a little uncomfortable now, isn’t it.

If you want people to take you seriously, you are going to have to put down the Ranch Dressing, push aside the barrels of sweet tea and start eating some un-fried vegetables.

You are going to get out of your porch rocking chairs and start doing some jumping jacks. 

I guess when it comes to religious people and sins, it’s ok to participate in the sins you feel comfortable with.  So that means that you have to “love thy neighbor” even if that neighbor likes to give rim jobs to other dudes while dressed in a latex costume.

Hey North Carolina, how can you explain your hypocrisy?  You are starting to remind me of that church in the movie Footloose.

Ya’ll better not dance, because that will cause all the young people to want to fuck everything that moves.

Dancing=copious amounts of anal sex and debauchery.  Anyway, I digress.

Hey North Carolina, please just crawl back into your trailers, do a Google search on opposable thumbs, keep pledging allegiance to fox news and keep your mouths shut.  But, more importantly, make sure your doors are locked because them gays are coming to rape your children.

YOU DUMB MUTHERFUCKERS

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