Sure, I choose to focus on things that aren’t always pleasant, but that’s real fucking life to me. I think a major problem plaguing our society is people’s inability to see what is actually real.
I think too many people turn their cheeks on the uncomfortable aspects of life in order to pursue an unrealistic Lifetime Movie life.
Anyway, I digress.
Here are some things make me happy:
- My family– yes, I am a family man. I love my wife and my children.
- Ellen– I like her. She seems like a good person, she helps a lot of people and she truly seems like a kind woman. I hated her sitcom years ago, and wasn’t especially fond of her standup comedy, but she’s still cool in my book. She spreads a positive message.
- Going to the beach– I live in Florida and grew up at the beach. For me, it’s the most peaceful place on earth for me. I do take long walks with my wife at times, but not in that corny “dating profile” kind of way. I love the salt water, I love the sand and I love listening to the waves crashing on the shore.
- Music– I love music, I love listening to music. From Brahms, to Hendrix to Mickey Avalon, my music taste is diverse. There is a song and artist for every emotion, I like that.
- Cooking– I enjoy cooking and eating. Throughout my life, food has been a comfort for me. Sure, that’s incredibly weak and is why I weigh 255 pounds, but damn I like a good Philly Cheese Steak.
- Comedy & Sarcasm– I enjoy good comedy. I like to laugh and I enjoy sarcasm to the highest degree. I laugh at myself first, so I always feel entitled to laugh at everyone else as well.
- America– I do love America, even though there are many things about America that drive me absolutely insane. But that’s the price of freedom, you have to take the idiocy with the intelligence.
- Boobs– I am a normal man and I love women’s boobs. Feel free to email me any pictures at any time. See, as much as I support women’s rights, I’m still just a dirty old man in a 36 year-old body. Now that’s honesty.
You see there, I am a positive person and I could even list a few more things that make me happy, but I don’t want to bore you.
Now piss the fuck off:)