Miss Happiness (a real email)

This message was in my inbox the other day.  I’m thinking maybe I found my soul mate (sarcasm), my girlfriend might get mad though:

My name is Miss hapiness, i saw your profile today and after going through it, i fill more interested to contact you ,i will like you to please send me an email at my email address via (hapiness.baby@yahoo.com) for me to send you my pics and to tell you more about me. then from here we can move on.I will be waiting for your reply on my email address above.thanks
hapiness .via(hapiness.baby@yahoo.com)

Wow, I have so many options here.  She really sounds interested in me, so flattering.  Do you think it would be too presumptuous of me to send her a cock-shot?  I mean it is 2012, but we are just starting a relationship.  I’m hoping that she lives somewhere in Siberia and only needs me to send her money for a plane ticket to get to the U.S. so she can take care of all my manly needs.

I’m not sure what to tell my wife, I mean this could be the one.  What to do?  Dear Abby, I’m confused and don’t know what to do.


4 thoughts on “Miss Happiness (a real email)

  1. Dear “Confused”, I can understand your hesitation, but surely you don’t want to keep this one waiting too long. The mere fact that she can’t structure a sentence has got to have you all hot and bothered. I think you’re right about the plane ticket…and also Siberia. Perhaps she’s a hot little Taiwanese number! Or better yet, VIETNAMESE! Just think…you could dump your wife, and if things work out? You’ll have all the Pho you can eat and be the proprietor of one of those fancy shmancy mani-pedi salons. Either way, please keep us updated on how this works out for you.

  2. @dater: I always play hard to get, duh.

    @flamidwyfe: Don’t do that, laughing out loud is spectacular, especially in situations when no one expects it.

    @sassy: At risk of offending any of my asian friends, “me love you long time.” I think that was actually from Full Metal Jacket or Apocolypse Now until 2 Live Crew made it famous. I really love my wife though, maybe it’s my wife playing a trick on me to test me….hmmmmmmm

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