Uh, hello America, did you see what happened yesterday? Although it wasn’t widely reported, China officially won yesterday. That’s right, it’s all over. I witnessed the event firsthand on the Today Show.
Before you scold me, I sometimes enjoy the mindless drivel presented on the Today Show. I feel it helps me stay in touch with the vacant minds floating throughout the country.
I sometimes become erect when the “used to be fat black dude” talks about the weather, his delivery in front of the green screen is intoxicating.
Anyway, before I get lost in the subtleties of American journalism, let’s get back to China winning.
Kim Kardashian was the featured guest for the Today Show yesterday and boy she didn’t disappoint. While walking around the square outside the show, I watched as young girls (with their mothers) fawned over her and begged Kim to take a picture with them.
SERIOUSLY!!!! Yep, young impressionable little girls were wetting their panties trying to get closer to a woman who became famous by fucking a rapper and videotaping it.
Holy shit America, did you just read what I wrote? Please take a step back and let that sink in. All those mothers who let their children idolize such a worthless piece of hooker trash should have their uteruses harvested so that they can never breed again.
It got even more interesting when Kim was interviewed. She was asked pointed (sarcasm) questions about her 72 day wedding and her recent “flouring” by a PETA crazy.
And yes, Kim described flour being thrown at her as assault. Funny but, I would consider that rapper’s balls bouncing off her forehead as assault, but I guess we all have different definitions.
I think the overall bright spot of the interview was that Kim only used the word “like” 150 times in a 3-minute segment. I hear Oxford calling now.
“Knock Knock. Who’s there? Hello, it’s China and we just won. He, he, he, he, he, he.”
Like I always say; don’t be pissed America when our taxis are replaced by rickshaws and we find out that the mysterious street vendor meat on a stick is really golden retriever puppy loin. I warned you well in advance.
Read a book, go for a walk, go to a museum, smile at a stranger and understand that America is not the center of the universe. Oops, too late.