Dear MTV

Dear MTV,

I remember sneaking behind my parent’s backs to watch the Van Halen “Jump” video when I was a kid.

I never understood why they didn’t want me to watch your station, it never really made sense to me. Van Halen rocked and so what if the lead singer was jumping around in spandex doing karate kicks.

I remember whey you played videos, I remember Kurt Loder. I remember Matt Pinfield and 120 minutes. I remember Yo!MTV Raps with Ed Lover and Doctor Dre.

I remembered when you played music.

MTV, what happened to you?

I just went to your website and looked up what music videos will be on, Ooops, I didn’t find many, but I did find this list of shows:

  • Jersey Shore
  • 16 and Pregnant
  • Awkward
  • I Just Want My Pants Back
  • I Used to Be Fat
  • Teen Mom
  • Teen Mom 2

I thought about explaining what each show was about, but I’m guessing the titles pretty much tell the story.

I did notice a tab on your website that said MUSIC, so I clicked on it with positive anticipation. But, my positivity was soon replaced by disappointment as it directed me to Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj videos. You see, I said I was looking for MUSIC, not oddly dressed androgynous Muppets.

MTV, I’m so disappointed in you, you started out so wonderfully and then you chose to embrace the basic economic laws of supply and demand. I guess I can’t get mad at you for that. I’m sure your owners need to enjoy their mansions and butlers while you continue to perpetuate the destruction of the American teenager. Oh well, what can I do?

MTV, thanks so much for making sure that America continues to lag behind in terms of educating our youth. With your help, instead our kids being able to identify China on a map, they will definitely be able to understand how to lay the smack down to their “baby’s daddy,” or know how to have sex with narcissistic boys from Jersey. And we all know what’s really important in today’s society.

I now understand why my parents didn’t want me watching David Lee Roth prance around in spandex. I will be closely watching my children and hopefully keep them away from your channel.


Concerned Citizen Who Reads a Book Every Once in a While


3 thoughts on “Dear MTV

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