Tim Tebow, God & Dumb America

Tim Tebow passed for 316 yards in an improbable victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs this year.

Religious America went crazy, nutso, speaking in tongues, slapping their Bibles against the pews jubilation for the professed virgin as he knelt, prayed and thanked god for his team’s victory.

Facebook pages buzzed with talk of the 3:16 victory. That’s right, 3:16, like the Bible verse. Apparently god watches football and listen to football players’ prayers. Forget all the starving children in the country, America needs touchdowns.

Here are a few of the quotes I saw on my Facebook page:

“All you Tebow haters, what do you have to say now.”

“The mile high messiah.”

“He’s a winner.”

“Good kid or rapist, who do want to see win the game.” (Reference to Ben Roethlisberger of course)

I’m going to break all of this madness down to a very base level.

Tim Tebow

So far he appears to be a good human being; great, so are millions of other people in this country. He’s a very talented athlete; great, there are plenty of talented athletes in this country. He’s religious and prays a lot; great, so do millions of other people in this country.

He’s white; oops, hold the phone, that’s where everything changes. He’s a white, god-fearing football player and dumb, white America can’t get enough of him. Why? Because white football fans love it when a white boy can play better than a black boy can. If you think that’s false, play sports some time. I played for years and this is the absolute truth.

God

Since when did God give a shit about sports? Since when did people care about athletes praying on the football field? This has been happening forever. I can see it now.

“Oh Timmy, keep praying my son and I will lead you to the end zone. But if I find out you are having premarital sex, I’m going to Michael Vick you,” said God.

That’s right, I did bring up Michael Vick. Vick is a Christian, where is the love for him religious America? I thought a huge part of Christianity was the ability to forgive. Never mind, I almost forgot that being black cancels out forgiveness from white Christians. If you think that’s crazy, open your eyes, I speak from experience.

If there is a God, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t, I sure hope he’s trying to fix more important things like feeding the hungry instead of worrying about the Bronco’s winning a football game.

Dumb America

I’ve actually heard people attribute Tebow’s success to the fact that he is a dedicated Christian and because his faith is so strong. Wow, this perception might explain why many American children can’t seem to find China on a map; their parents are teaching them to believe in nonsense.

Tebow is an incredible athlete, bottom line. Believing in god, Buddha, Allah or Krishna has never won a football game.

Hey America, get out of the recliner, put the remote and Budweiser down and wake up. It’s just a football team and Tebow is just another football player. He makes millions of dollars wearing tight pants and throwing a football to other guys in tight pants.

I think what alarms me most about this situation is that so many Americans are more passionate about football than they are about educating our youth, helping those in need and understanding reality.

I don’t blame Tim Tebow for this, I blame dumb America.

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